Covert
by CrimsonJoy
Summary: Everyone knows they are enemies, but is that really true? Delves deeper into Higher Ground with a femslash twist.
1. Chapter 1

The tires bounced almost rhythmically across the hot tarmac, bringing the occupants closer and closer to their destination with every goddamn turn.

But Shelby Merrick didn't care anymore. She didn't exactly feel anything at all in fact. Though, it had been a long while since she had had her emotions in check. Her heavy makeup felt claustrophobic and she suddenly wished she hadn't worn it, but that would be like giving in even faster than she needed too, and there was no way she could do that.

Her mother sat in the driver seat, eyes trained directly on the road, as if she was scared to look at her child. Maybe she was. Shelby didn't care. Instead she too watched the road while she tried to decide how she felt about all this. Mount Horizon High School, she had heard a lot about it since her mother had found her and gotten the police off her back. A part of her had always hoped it wouldn't come to actually _going _there…

Hell, she was there now, and she wouldn't let her fears show if it killed her.

Vaguely, she registered leaving the car, her mother speaking to some guy about something she wasn't inclined to listen to, being handed over to a woman to get checked out while her mother and the man talked some more. Frankly, to her, it didn't matter too much anymore.

The induction was boring. The red haired woman looked through her file just like everyone else seemed too, went through her clothes and other items before sitting her down for a talk. "No drugs, no sex, no inappropriate touching and no violence." What? It seemed like it was going to be shit already, and she had barely been there an hour.

Stripped of her makeup and drugs a half hour later, Shelby left the bathroom in time for her mother to wish her goodbye before she left and to begin the grand tour of the oh-so-amazing campus, which, as it turned out, wasn't too impressive.

The buildings were all so similar, Shelby was sure she would never remember which was which, and with the strange random placing of each, she knew she would get lost at least once. The first one she visited was the dorm rooms. Her new home for at least two years, and it was surprisingly liveable looking.

There were approximately eight beds in the room, but only two looked remotely lived in. One on either side of the cabin, but they were so well made and tidy that she wouldn't even know any of that had it not been for the two girls sitting upon the covers, one reading, the other staring up at them with big hazel eyes. "Shelby," her attention was caught by the red haired woman, Hannah. "These are you bunkmates, that's Katherine," she pointed to a dark skinned girl, the reading one, who offered a wave of greeting, "And that's Juliette."

Shelby's gaze wandered back down to the brunette, who was still watching with a somehow tired yet perky fascination that Shelby didn't understand. As soon as Shelby met her eyes, Juliette face lit up with a smile that didn't belong in Horizon, or anywhere near it in fact. Against her will, Shelby felt a miniscule smile of her own creep onto her lips in return. "Hi,"

"Hey," Shelby said in a low, quiet voice. Okay so living there didn't seem awful so far.

* * *

"So what's your damage then?" Juliette started at the sound of her fellow Cliffhanger's voice, but turned to face her with a smile none the less. The two were alone in the cabin, Juliette haven giving up on her homework long ago to daydream while Kat couldn't pester her to keep at the work.

"Binging, bulimic, cutter." She said with a light in her eyes so fake it was worse than darkness. "You?"

Shelby paused, as if she hadn't thought the conversation would move on past her curiously and back to her again. She should have thought ahead… "Um, runaway." She answered after a beat, watching carefully as Juliette's gaze went from blank to something she couldn't quiet place. "Yeah, I ran a lot."

Juliette lay on her stomach on her bed, holding her head awkwardly in her hands to keep the eye contact that Shelby suddenly wanted to break. "That's not the whole truth." Juliette's whispered speech made Shelby's blood run cold. "But that doesn't matter." Just like that, Juliette lay her head back down and closed her eyes, shielding from the sunlight, but Shelby knew that she was still somehow _watching_. "It's okay."

Shelby's eyes wandered over to the brunette with a creased in her brows. Someone who wouldn't pester her? Shelby knew in the back of her mind that Juliette's values would spin pretty quickly when they had spent more time together, but for the time being, she would enjoy the company of a person _not_ out to hurt her.

* * *

"As if, Freakin, you'd be lucky for a girl like that to as much as spit on you."

"Freakin? How creative of you."

Juliette watched the exchange with upset brimming in her eyes and anger lingering even deeper. Silently, she rose from her place by the camp's fireside and, grabbing Shelby's arm, pulled her into the woods and out of earshot.

"Shelby stop being mean to him." Juliette's whining ignited a flare of irritation within the blonde and at once, Juliette wished she had picked a different tone.

Shelby scoffed at her. "What? Do you like him?" The teasing had no effect on Juliette, in fact her face just morphed into one much glassier.

"This is a safe haven, Shelby," _Whoa, use of name twice_, Shelby thought, sarcastic even in mind. Juliette was worse than her mother. _I'm in trouble_. "No one needs to be bullied here. We're already as low as we can get." Shelby smirked at her speech.

"Oh please. This is you at your lowest? Your nothing but a poor rich kid, aren't you? Going to bulimia because all your friends are supermodels?" Shelby smiled a wicked smile as she unknowingly sent knives through the other girl's heart. "You're just a dethroned Princess."

As soon as the words left her lips, Shelby actually looked at her victim and saw what she had done. Juliette was speechless, her lips slightly parted and her eyes disbelieving to a point where Shelby was worried for her. "Oh, shit, Juliette…" she said, her voice taking on the ever so slightly higher tone that it did when she panicked.

And panic was exactly what she should feel at that moment. Shelby had one (almost) friend at horizon, and she was standing right in front of her, looking more hurt than Shelby thought her words could ever come close to. With an inaudible sight, Shelby grabbed the brunette's hands and brought her deeper into the woods, away from prying eyes. "I'm sorry." She said, as loud as she was prepared to do so close to camp.

Like magic, it seemed to wake Juliette was her stupor. "It's okay," she said, deadpan, but Shelby saw right through her. Juliette had very emotional eyes; they betrayed her too much for her own good. "Juliette," Shelby's whisper of her name caught the girl in question off guard long enough for her to be enveloped in a hug she hasn't expected. Ever.

But there it was. Shelby wrapped her arms around a tiny waist and pressed her head to Juliette's shoulder, trying desperately to try and convince her how sorry she was. Where this emotion as coming from she would never know, but she did now that she needed some form of a friend, and Juliette was all she had going to for her here. And she wasn't about to lose that over something as stupid as this.

Juliette's breath caught when she found herself in a warm embrace. It had been so long since someone had held her like that… Carefully, slowly, she rounded her arms around Shelby and returned the hug, silently loving having someone to cling too again. Yet terrified of the feeling brimming in her gut.

* * *

Shelby woke to the sound of broken breathing. It was late, and Kat lay fast asleep. With a quick glance to Juliette's bed, directly beside her own, Shelby found it empty. Curiosity spiked, she slid from under the covers and towards the bathroom, where a sliver of light beamed from under the door.

The door creaked open and all of a sudden, Shelby was woken from her haze of half sleep at the sight before her. Blood covering the floor, surrounding a limp body with red nails and a ghostlike complexion. Juliette. A cry of her name burst from Shelby's lips before she could stop it, and eyes without light flashed to look at her.

Shelby watched with sick fascination as Juliette's world seemed to come back down to earth like a crack like thunder. Just like that, Juliette was awake, with wide, frightened eyes and colour flooding back to her cheeks. "Go away," she whispered, narrowing her eyes at the other girl.

Shelby shook her head. "I can help," she said back, not bothering to whisper. Kat was a heavy sleeper. "Go away!" Juliette repeated, this time in a growl that didn't suit her.

"No," Quicker than Juliette could react, Shelby's hands closed around the arm that still leaked blood onto the cold tile. At the sight of the jagged lines that marred the girl's arm, Shelby annoyance ebbed away like the sea leaving the beach. Without a word (or her own permission), her fingers ran slow lines around the injuries, as if trying to sooth without knowing how.

Juliette looked on, wondering almost absentmindedly how long it would take Shelby to run away and leave her there. But that moment never came. Instead, Shelby dropped Juliette's arm, clearing her throat loudly enough to startle the taller girl. "Don't do it again, and I won't tell." Juliette nodded slowly, her eyes following a drop of red as it made its way along the floor, travelling between the tiles like a tiny river.

She didn't leave her…

* * *

When Juliette woke, the tent was empty, and she was alert. She would not sleep again for hours that night. She never did after nightmares.

She silently slid out of her sleeping bag and took a quick look outside, where the gentle glow of sunrise was already beginning over the mountains, and, much closer, she saw a shimmer of golden hair through the trees.

With narrowed eyes, Juliette left the confines of her tent to track down her friend, carefully stepping over branches as not to wake anyone else. Shelby didn't even bat an eye at her when she felt the Juliette sit next to her on the boulder, she just took a slow breath and waiting for her to speak. But she didn't hear a sound.

What felt like hours later, but could only have been minutes, Juliette finally broke the silence with a yawn she couldn't stifle, and Shelby couldn't help but laugh at the speed a slim hand shot up to cover her mouth. "Why are you out?" Shelby asked, finally turning to look at her companion. Juliette shrugged and leaned her weight on the blonde a just a little.

"I woke up and you weren't there. I couldn't sleep." She smiled. "Why are you up?"

"Couldn't sleep," she shrugged Juliette's body off of her with a smirk when it sent her almost falling. Juliette shot her as much of a glare as she could muster when tired and not actually mad. Shelby just smiled at the poor excuse for a threat, and watched as it melted away from her friends face almost instantaneously. Juliette shook her head with a sigh.

"I haven't cut yet." She whispered, all just like that, all fun evaporated from the air like mist. But Shelby didn't care, instead just giving a smile and a leaning hug in praise. Juliette smiled, leaning up to press a tiny kiss to her cheek, and Shelby couldn't fight her blush.

And then, just like that, she realised why.

_Shit._

* * *

Kat wasn't there that evening, gone away for some senior thing according to her; Shelby thought she had said a hike but she couldn't for the life of her remember fully at the time. She didn't exactly care where she was anyway.

The thing was, now she was alone in the room with Juliette. It felt like 2am but she knew Juliette wasn't sleeping, her breathing wasn't right for her to be sleeping. Cracking an eye open, Shelby glanced around the room, anywhere but at Juliette's back, as a shiver ran down her spine. It was getting colder at night now, and the wooden cabins were notorious for leaking.

She heard a rustle and her eyes slid closed again. "Shelby? Are you awake?"

"Yeah," No point in pretending, Juliette knew very well she was.

"It's too cold to sleep," Juliette yawned out, turning to face her and reaching out to switch her light on. "I can't feel my fingers anymore."

Shelby rolled her eyes but nodded her agreement. She was freezing, but Juliette must have been even colder, being the stick she was, and it pulled on her heartstrings to watch her shiver.

Shelby had been walking on eggshells where the other girl was involved for the past few days, and it was exhausting. She hadn't gained too many new friends since arriving and losing one of the few she had wasn't exactly appealing, even to her. She was scared of both losing and being around Juliette, which left her standing on a ledge, waiting to fall one way or the other.

Snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Juliette's chattering teeth, Shelby fought back a sigh. She was going nowhere, and if you couldn't fight it… well you give in. It was just some stupid girly crush anyways…"Juliette," an almost silent huff was all the response she got. "Come here."

"Wh-at?" Juliette answered with a stuttering voice.

"You heard me, come here."

Slowly, like she was overthinking it, Juliette slid out of bed with a shiver and travelled the two steps to get to Shelby. "What?" She didn't get an answer, just a lifted sheet and an inviting smile. Juliette confused eyes did nothing to calm the nerves that Shelby hid so well.

"Come on, I have to be warmer than standing there." Shelby said, laughter in her voice more overplayed than ever, but it was enough. A heartbeat later and Juliette had given in and slid in to the offered space with a grace that Shelby wished she could have pulled off. "You're freezing!" Juliette's bare legs were like ice radiating their cold towards her, and Shelby didn't know if she wanted to back away or move closer.

"Of course I am, I was standing out in the air," Juliette replied with a scoffing sound, her back to Shelby while she cuddled into the pillow for warmth. "And you're warm." Juliette pushed back towards her and Shelby could almost hear the grin in her words.

With all her willpower, Shelby managed to stay in place despite the cold, gritting her teeth while she waited for her friend to warm up. "Better?"

"Perfect," Juliette mumbled back, turning over to face her with one of her brighter smiles. "Thanks." Shelby just bit back a gruff sound and closed her eyes. It was comfortable lying with Juliette, listening to her slow breathing, even though she could feel her eyes still on her. She didn't speak, but smiled instead, but it was short lived.

What had she gotten herself into? This was her only friend and now she had messed it up again. Why did she have to be so self-destructive, without even self-consciously doing it or noticing it happen? It was embarrassing really. Juliette had been nothing but sweet to her… if not a little wicked on occasion, but not enough to be a threat, and now she had gone and unintentionally, and without Juliette becoming aware of it, ruined it all. Without even noticing she had thrown one arm over her waist.

"I lived on the streets for a while," Shelby whispered in a low voice, so quiet that she hoped her bed mate wouldn't even hear her, but she still felt Juliette react, her body stiffening ever so slightly. "During my longest run. I had no money…" Juliette swallowed and Shelby's eyes snapped open at the movement it had on the pillow.

Juliette eyes were in fact on her, huge and dark and curious, but reined in too. She nodded a little. "That's why you're here?"

"That's why I'm here." Shelby could feel that defensive smile slowly building on her on face. The one she used to brush this like this off, but Juliette was ignoring it. She wasn't naive and she got it, but wasn't brave enough to voice it first. Neither was Shelby.

Suddenly, like it was on a timer, Juliette's smile was back, that overexcited one that wasn't really real. "Thank you," she whispered, in the same quiet tone Shelby used minutes before, before startling the blonde, by leaning up to place a gentle kiss to her jaw. "For telling me, I mean."

Shelby could only nod, her breath caught in her chest. _What on earth was she doing?_ Juliette did strike her as one of those girls who did do things like that with friends, but here? She was still watching, Juliette was, something in her expression that Shelby hadn't seen before, but in the back of her mind she knew well. But it couldn't really be _daring_, could it?

She still could feel her skin tingling, and in those few seconds Shelby became all too aware of the other body beside hers. Her mouth felt dry but she was reading the other girl correctly. That wasn't even a goddamn smile…

Juliette was nervous, and it made sense that she would be in Shelby's mind. She liked to think she was good at hiding her thoughts and feelings, and hopefully she was holding strong now. But Juliette wouldn't take blind chances, if she knew her at all, so maybe she wasn't as talented as she thought. _Wait, when did she get so close?_

A little coy in her own way, Juliette backed off for a second, waiting to see how Shelby reacted, and when the blonde moved forward, even the fraction of an inch that she did, she moved back close again. Oh yeah, Shelby wasn't so hard to figure out. Confidence restored, Juliette leaned in and then they were kissing, and Shelby couldn't breathe.

Her 'little crush' was kissing her and she wasn't kissing back? Like it was ingrained into her, Shelby responded with vigour, leaning up to tower over the brunette, and she could feel the smile that she had brought on against her lips.

For Shelby's instinct was taking over and before she knew it, her hands were settling on Juliette's hips, pulling her closer when Juliette groaned. This wasn't what she had expected when she had found out they would be alone for the night. She wasn't complaining. Too soon, it was Juliette who broke them apart, tilting her head to the side and out of reach.

Shelby's questioning eyes made Juliette laugh. "I'm tired."

"You're a tease!" Shelby responded, and just like that the tension was broken and their laughter echoed off the walls. "I should have known." Juliette grinned, and silently dropped her head back down onto the pillow, Shelby following moments later.

When Juliette's eyes slid shut, Shelby's didn't do the same. Her mind was too awake with thoughts. She had kissed her, should she be worried? Was this a thing now? Or just Juliette proving a point to herself? Did it even matter?

It didn't, she decided after a beat. A couple of years on a mountain would be slow, and what was wrong with having a little fun?

* * *

"Just picture someone you really hate is laying they head down on it," Shelby's laughing voice was echoed by disgusted sighs. "It'll make it easier I swear."

"From what experience?"

"Intuition." Juliette scoffed at the answer, but spun the axe in her hands nonetheless. "Makes you want to swing it around, doesn't it?" Shelby continued. "Smash it into something." She grabbed the skinny girl by the forearms arms from behind and guided her over to the job at hand. "Now let that all out on the wood."

With a roll of her eyes, Juliette replied, "I've tried that already, I'm not exactly talented with an axe… why were we even stuck with this? I'm tired."

"Stop whining and try again!" At the sound of her voice, Juliette moved quick, dropping the axe beside the wood stump and grabbing the blonde by her jacket to pull her behind the woodshed with bright, mischievous eyes.

It was not a onetime thing.

* * *

It happened often after that, the flirty eyes, the kissing when no one was around, even the cuddling in shared beds, but only when they were alone, which they managed often, as Kat had to leave for duties once or twice a week. Sometimes it was to get out of work they had been set together, or just because they wanted too, but it became so routine that, as the months passed, it developed in a slow, strange way that no one noticed.

Maybe that was how they managed to keep it from their group. The casual growing relationship that the others had fooled themselves over, believing it to be a friendship, just some stupid girly friendship that transcended most other combinations. 'Best friends' was an amazing cover that no one needed to build.

In time, intimacy deepened and daring became much stronger in each of them. They had yet to be found out, no one had even thought twice, and the rush had gotten past them one night. This is how Shelby found herself cuddled up beside the sleeping brunette, clenching her thighs and wishing for sleep she knew she would never get. It had already been late when they had been stopped (when _she_ had been stopped) and now she knew there was no point anymore.

She curled at just the right angle as to not disrupt the girl in her arms, but still allowed her to fix a glare on the sleeping face before her. _I should've fucking known…_ she thought, the wicked side of her wanted to wake Juliette and subject her to a sleepless night too. She wouldn't do it, there was no question there.

* * *

The climbing wall loomed over them, slanted slightly to ease the climb a little on newbies. Not that Shelby cared about that, she wasn't going up that wall, no matter what they tried to punish her with. Juliette sat pressed up beside her, not a breath between them on the log, just how she liked it… Juliette was warm for the size of her…

Some tanned boy she couldn't fully name was scaling with ease, urged on by the cheers of the others in the group, but it wasn't too interesting. He wasn't the first to climb anyway. Every so often he looked down with a cocky smile that seemed to be his real one.

Juliette's hand rested on her lower arm, brushing lazy lines up and down, just enough to raise goose bumps on the bare skin. It was the only thing keeping Shelby from ripping down that dammed wall, and Juliette knew it.

It was a nice escape from reality being up here, as Shelby had been learning, and getting away from chores for a day was worth sitting up here and being vaguely entertained watching people fail at the wall. It wasn't raining for a change too, and that was nice. But that couldn't last, and ending abruptly with the end of the tanned boy's climb.

A flourish ending jump from the wall and a mock bow had Shelby steamed up already, and Juliette's grip tightened. "Relax, it's not his fault," she whispered, leaning into her neck. "You have a bad temper."

Shelby laughed. "You've only noticed?" she gave the other girl a light shove and Juliette bit back a yelp of surprise. "You have to stop doing that!" She pushed back, but she was smiling too much for Shelby to believe a word.

About to open her mouth to reply with a smart ass comment, Shelby was interrupted. "Hey," The accent, Spanish, had her turning to face the speaker, that same climbing boy. "I don't think we've talked, I'm Auggie." Shelby didn't want to talk to him, but Juliette, ever polite, smiled in return. He was a little newer than Shelby, if she remembered.

Shelby glared. "What do you want?"

Taken aback by her harsh tone, the boy blinked. "I'm just thinkin'" Rubbing the back of his neck, the girls knew he felt awkward, and Shelby's heart beat faster in her chest. _He couldn't know… _No, she was just paranoid. "You guys are real close… you just friends?" Juliette's breath caught and Shelby's blood froze in her veins, but ever the prepared, she recovered first. Guess it wasn't paranoia...

"Ugh no, what do you take us for? Dykes?" Shelby biting tone had his hands up in the air in defence and his feet taking him a few steps back. Juliette watched, eyes wide in terror while fear fell off of her in waves that Shelby worried the others could feel too.

"Meant nothin' by it," he muttered, his slow drawl grating on nerves. "Just asking." He left slowly, back to watching the next idiot climb the wall, while the two girls shared a look. They were caught.

* * *

They did not stop there, though their eyes were keener and their hearing sharper, always on the lookout for people whenever they were together. Why they didn't just quit there was lost on them, but it just never crossed their minds that it was a mistake now, that there was so much more to think about.

They were teenagers. Teenagers who needed warmth and comfort and stability and losing it would have taken the floor out from under them. So while the opportunity was there, it went by ignored by both.

But there was something else that stood blocking them, this one much stronger, and it made it appearance two days later in the form of a phone call.

"Oh, Juliette, honey you have no idea how rough it was for me to find out," the overdramatic voice made the girl on the other end feel a little bit sick in itself, but it was what the voice was speaking of that had her stomach churning and mouth dry. "To think, I would have ever have found a man who could _breed_ something so foul to be attractive…"

Juliette swallowed. "I have no idea, mother." There was a good chance now that she could have gotten sick onto the receiver, mostly barely held back by fear of the questions it could send her way if she did. "It must have been," she paused to clear her throat, trying to mask a crack in her speech. "Horrific."

She did have an idea as to why her mother would have found him attractive, and it wasn't broad. The new man (or old man, presumably) would have been rich. Another to add to the ever growing list of bank accounts they could have access too.

It didn't matter now, he was history, long gone too if she knew anything. Her mother had still chosen her to call for her rant though, and it was something. Her mother let out a breathy scoff. "People like that shouldn't be allowed to live like he does… they should be institutionalised. Straightened out, and then let back into the real world..."

Unnoticed by Juliette, Peter watched from the stairs below while she took her call, worrying the phone cord in her fingers as she did. She was scared and not very good at hiding it, he knew he would have to intervene, come between her and whatever was stressing her so much, and it would have to be soon.

* * *

Juliette paced her dorm, head aching with too many thoughts and her stomach still feeling weak from her phone call. She was glad she hadn't eaten dinner, or she was sure it would have come back up again whether she wanted it to or not.

Shelby was out somewhere with homework and she suspected Kat was the same, but she was putting her own off in favour of this. She would prefer to just do the work at this point. Her mother had terrified her. Over an hour of ranting about her ex-boyfriends gay son had left her in a full blown hidden panic that did nothing to help her already shattered nerves.

Was she gay? Was she experimenting? What if she wasn't straight, it would ruin her entire life… her mother would disown her and she would be completely alone, no money, no family, nothing. The thoughts that had been swimming around in her head since the call were doing nothing. She had no answers for any of them, no matter how many times she went over it.

Why couldn't it be an easy thing to just see? Juliette wished it could be so clean cut, nice and easy and something known from the moment anyone took an interest in other person for the first time. It wasn't, of course, but it was a nice thought and a good way of further putting herself off.

She had no idea now, but she was focused on it and needed an answer. Pacing back and forth would not get her one though. And why was she even thinking about it? Of course she was straight? She looked straight, she liked boys her whole life… but what of she wasn't?

With a groan, Juliette fell back onto her bed, and then jolted off it as if it was on fire. It smelled of Shelby.

"Are you okay? You know the beds here aren't that bad…" Shelby laughed her way into the room, watching Juliette spring up from the floor and plaster on her fake enthusiasm, something she was too well accustomed to seeing. Sighing, she set down her books, and watched the brunette flounder for an explanation.

When none came, she said nothing, and instead sat down on the bed that Juliette had hastily vacated. "You're not okay," she continued, almost absentmindedly. It wasn't a question. "What happened?"

Juliette's eyes were everywhere but on Shelby, and she licked her lips to give herself time to settle down again. "I..." she started, but trailed again, slowly sitting down on the bed across the makeshift hall from her own while Shelby watched her carefully, eyes narrowed.

"Juliette?"

"My mother called." _Deadpan again…_

Shelby was confused, but she had every right to be, so Juliette clenched her teeth and elaborated carefully. "She's kind of the reason I'm here." That relived any confusion, and Shelby almost got up to comfort her friend before something in her posture stopped her.

Juliette sat straight up, her hands folded in her lap and her face almost statuesque. It could have even scared her if not for the fact that this was _Juliette_… just Juliette. But then she spoke and she understood what had happened in a heartbeat.

"Shelby I can't do this anymore." Juliette's eyes finally stopped their sweep to actually look at her, for the first time since she had come in and for once Shelby didn't want to see them. "Like what we're doing, it has to stop."

Shelby did a little shake of her head and looked at the other girl with a look she gave her more rarely that anyone else; a mask. "What?" She said, inside feeling panicked, but a wicked snarl growing quickly in defence. She would not be the one left in Juliette pity, especially not like this.

Fortunately for herself, Juliette spotted the mood swing and opted for a quick escape. She rose from the bed like a robot and tore her eyes back down the floor, guilt already starting to manifest. "I'm sorry, Shel," she whispered, before she fled the cabin at an almost run, desperate to get away from what she had done.

As she ran, she felt as though something in her lower chest had been snagged on a tree or a building she had flown by, and was being stretched back, letting her breath leak out as it became tighter and tighter, making her feel more and more sick as she fought against in. Once she was as far as she could go, she stopped and rested her hands on her knees.

The feeling had grown to the what she remember it being before she would make herself sick, but this one wasn't forced. She stared at the forest floor, caked with a few remaining leaves, waiting for the feeling to pass and her head to clear, but if anything the pounding in her skull got worse.

_I don't care, I'm not gay. I don't care, I'm not gay. I don't care, I'm not gay …_

But then why did she feel like this?


	2. Chapter 2

"They haven't been talking much…"

"Friends have been known to drift apart, you know. It's the natural order of things, just wait and see." Ezra answered Kat's worries, not really paying attention to his English paper, or to the girl he spoke too, but somewhere in between.

Katherine sighed, her eyes bouncing between the two tables that seated the fighting pair. The two had been at separate ends of the dorm every night for a week, and it was beginning to worry her. Peter coming to her and asking her to watch over Juliette only made her think deeper. "I don't know, I think they won't just make up this time."

"What makes you think that?"

"I just know." Kat's eyes narrowed. There was something else going on there, she was sure of it. Wandering eyes didn't lie.

* * *

Auggie had taken to hanging around Juliette sometimes, if only to finish homework or at lunch, but it made Shelby's blood boil. The boy hadn't ever been close with them, and being so new to the group he had kept his distance.

But Juliette was sweet and kind to him, and Shelby could see how he would react to that kind of treatment. He sounded like he came from the wrong side of the tracks; goodness was all he really needed. She still didn't want him hanging around.

He had taken to nicknaming Juliette 'Twig' and that didn't sit well with the observing blonde. Juliette didn't seem to like it much either, but she acted around it and left him to do as he pleased. It took a lot to get her really pissed enough to bite back. It worried her and Shelby didn't like it.

Juliette had been avoiding her, and the guilt she felt couldn't be hidden, but Shelby didn't really care anymore. Lies. She was avoiding Juliette too, and planned to continue until she had some words thought up to fix this. But for now, she was too easily distracted by this new addition to her group. The one she already didn't like…

The worst part was she had no right to even think, let alone say, anything about it.

* * *

It was another week before Shelby finally caught Juliette alone again, and she only managed it with Kat's help and a 'borrowed' key to lock the door… just in case.

Though she had been wounded, Shelby was quick to get over these things, and she knew when she herself had done serious damage too. Juliette hadn't been the same since they had gone their separate ways. She was skittish and irritable all the time, and had taken to spending a lot of her time alone, but seemingly doing nothing.

Truly, Shelby was worried about her. Oh, she was still pissed at her a little, but a bit of sneaky research and sideways questions had taught her enough about Juliette's family that she had finally understood what had happened. Or at least gave it her best guess.

So calling the girl's name and watching her spin around with wide, bright eyes, had mixed feelings making their way through her. Mainly relief that she didn't try and make another stupid excuse and escape, but also worry that she would turn her away again and that this whole conversation would be pointless, and a tiny, ignored, tinge of want.

"Shelby?" Juliette's shaky voice dragged her back to the real world, and she blinked to watch Juliette take a step towards her. "Why are you here?" Shelby only smiled with a light shrug, but Juliette only raised her eyebrows.

"I just wanted to ask you…" Shelby should have planned out what she was going to say, but there was no going back now. "You had a gay panic didn't you?"

Juliette seemed thrown, and shook her head, but it seemed like she was trying to clear it rather than deign the accusation. So Shelby continued. "I know you got a call, and I can bet your mom is homophobic, so you got scared. I'm right aren't I?"

It took a few minutes of awkward silence for Juliette to nod, so slowly that it could have almost gone unnoticed. Shelby took this and went with it. "I'm not gay, Juliette. At least not really. You don't have to be one or the other."

"Yes, I do." Juliette answered, again her eyes fell to the floor and Shelby felt a sudden rushing need to protect her. Juliette was tiny when she really looked at her, and now that she did, she wondered how frail she must have been when she had first ended up in Horizon. But that wasn't the time to think about it. Instead, Shelby took another step forward, her arms itching to reach out and touch the girl's now shaking form.

Juliette wasn't expecting this when Shelby had cornered her, if anything she had expected a quip of some sort as payback for being so sudden. But Shelby, as amazing as her morals were, was wrong this time. "I cannot be gay, Shel. You don't get it." She spoke softly, as if broken, and having exhausted herself reaching that point.

"But you could be anything in between," Shelby was quick to answer. "And even if you are… it's our secret. Just because you like girls doesn't mean you have to tell your family."

"I don't like girls, Shelby!"

"Yes, you do. You like me." Juliette's eyebrows rose again, but she said nothing and Shelby did nothing but smile that smile that seemed like a smirk. "See, I'm a girl, I'm sure you know that." Juliette blushed a little, but Shelby did her best to not point it out, instead continuing in a slow, soft voice, a rarity for her. "You like me. Just accept that and move on for now. You're on a mountain in the middle of nowhere… how would your mum find out?"

Juliette pursed her lips and the churning in her stomach that had become almost a constant in her life was suddenly much easier to stand. It was always going to be there, and the voice in the back of her head screamed that to her every second, but it was quieter now. Shelby was right, her mother was as far away as she could be…

"Fine," Shelby's eyes brightened but she was quick to hide that fact. She still didn't like it when Juliette thought she had something on her. "But we're being careful this time…" Juliette didn't seem sure of herself and her eyes seemed unfocused yet intent at the same time. "No more of this in front of the others, they'll find out. I already feel sick thinking that Auggie knows…"

Shelby nodded. "Yeah, fine. Whatever." She murmured, as if it wasn't anything, when Juliette saw right through it and knew it was before she could even voice the last syllable, just like before, and was already giving her a laughing smile for her failure. Shelby just shook her head and finally allowed her legs to propel her forward and her arms to wrap tight around bony shoulders, almost throwing Juliette off balance.

A yelp was all that warmed Shelby that she in fact had come too close to knocking the brunette over, and so she didn't have time to throw her arms out to catch them before they hit the ground with a thud that took their breath away. "Missed me… then?" Juliette wheezed out with a groan, closing her eyes and relaxing her head on the floor to try and aid the ache growing there.

"Shit, sorry," Shelby scrambled to get up but Juliette's hold was tight. "No, I like it here." Shelby settled down at the words, but fell to the side so she wasn't leaning her weight on the other girl.

They stayed like that for a while, Juliette slowly regaining her proper breathing and Shelby waiting for more 'terms and conditions' that she knew were coming. "You know," and so it begins, Shelby closed her eyes and waited, for a split second relaxing in Juliette's arms, and letting her head rest heavy on her shoulder, to be in comfort for their next move. "We can't be friends anymore."

What? Shelby's eyes sprung open and her she lifted her head to stare down at Juliette, her eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?"

"In front of everyone." Juliette pushed herself off the ground and leaned back on her elbows, "That was how Auggie noticed it, that's how everyone else will."

"You've thought about this."

"A little," Juliette had the decency to look sheepish as she said it, but not enough to entertain a smile back onto Shelby's face, even when she put her balance in danger again to lift one hand and run it slowly across Shelby's face, from her forehead to her jaw and stilling there. "C'mon, Shelby, it'll be better like this." Even she knew it was a lie, and pulling it off for Shelby didn't work, but she kept at it anyway, until her words were blasted out of the sky with a response.

"You know that's not true." Shelby wasn't sure what she was fighting for right at that second, but whatever it was had her pissed enough to need it. Juliette shook her head. "Yeah, but it is safer. If we keep doing this, we can't get caught, Shelby. No risks."

Shelby wasn't sure of this. "So, what do we do? Have some stupid public fight and never speak again."

"We've already had our public fight, and no one knows you're here…"

"Kat knows I'm here," Shelby interrupted, but Juliette was quick with her reaction. "Tell her it didn't work out, it doesn't matter make something up! Just… from now on we're enemies to everyone else, right? Shelby?"

Shelby took in a long breath, and exhaled just as slowly. "Right, fine. Trial Run… we're okay though?" Juliette nodded, smiled, and Shelby laid her head back down again, her eyes open to watch Juliette breathe while her thoughts wandered elsewhere. Things could go either way from here, and she was in no rush to get up and find out.

* * *

Their 'Trial Run' turned out to work quite well, and in little more than a week, the people around them had taken the bait they kept throwing and caught themselves unaware. Juliette was delighted of course. In her mind, this was the solution she needed. Her mother would never admit to it if it wasn't blatantly obvious, even if she did see it herself.

So their arrangement was in motion and they knew they were pulling it off well. They had fought before and people seemed to just assume during their talk in the cabin their animosity towards each other intensified and destroyed whatever remained of their friendship, leaving them at each other's throats.

Meanwhile, they had their spots and their meeting points -sometimes late at night to early in the morning or even hidden in classrooms- and even Shelby seemed to have fallen for their plan. Sure, breaking out of old habits had been hard, especially when they still shared the same living space and schedules, but it was easy to hide slip ups with a little lie or quip here and there.

They were fluid in their relationship, or at least in concept, since they had never actually gone out to flirt with anyone else, but it was easy and fun and gave them the freedom that they needed.

That was, until Scott Barringer showed up.

Well not really, ten days before Scott Barringer, their group was taken out on a hike that had Juliette complaining and Shelby snapping remarks, which she would apologise for every evening in their tent, every second while the rest of the group rolled their eyes

This was, naturally, the backdrop for another lapse in Juliette's mental state of mind.

Sort of. She had another mini 'gay panic' that she was sharing a tent with Shelby and that meant everyone must know and she kept the blonde up for an extra two hours trying to calm her down. If she was being honest, and she was (brutally), Shelby would have told her she was being overdramatic… and she did tell her, which only served to piss off the brunette and force them into an awkward silence for the rest of the night and day after.

It wasn't until the next night, the third in their trip, when Shelby approached her cautiously. Juliette was already in her sleeping bag, but her eyes were open and watching, Shelby knew she was sorry but too hard headed to ever say it.

So, as usual, she had to be the bigger person and break their silence first.

It was late, and they should have been long asleep, but Shelby had been busying herself wandering around waiting to get tired enough to sleep while Juliette had just lay in bed and tried to sleep. Both unsuccessful, they found themselves in a stare off that was broken quickly.

"Why do you get so panicked all the time?" Shelby's whisper brought on nothing but a loud sigh and closed eyes that immediately sent a quiet wave of annoyance through her. She had always been quick to jump the gun with that emotion when it came to talks like this, and Juliette's back and forth was frustrating as hell.

Juliette shrugged, lazy and slow and Shelby huffed a noise that sounded sarcastic even without words to accompany it, but she still sank into her sleeping bag and wiggled it closer to Juliette's, wrapping an arm around her to pull her nearer and narrow all distance between them.

Shelby shook her head, trying to keep out of the way of Juliette's hair. "You may be a heartless tease," she said, a laughing breath blowing the light brown strands out of her face. "And you have the confidence of… you have none," Juliette interrupted by pushing back against her like it was a punishment. "But I guess I'm stuck with you… not complaining." She finished with a whisper, her voice tired.

Juliette was smiling and she knew it. There was always something else, a tensing in her entire body that gave away her emotions, and she was happy now. But there was something else haunting the back of Juliette's mind, that she put more effort into hiding than she ever had before. That constant worry that someone knew, the unconscious wait for someone to drop a letter on her bedside in the middle of the night full of threats.

Juliette did not have friends in Horizon. She had Kat, who was a substitute older sibling, and she had the boys who were nothing to her, and then she had Shelby. She couldn't chance losing something she had so little of with something as foolish as 'not being careful'.

So with worry on her mind and lying in the comforting embrace of someone she had come to care about so much more than she had anticipated, Juliette fell into a fitful sleep, plagued by the recurring nightmare that she dreaded ever being a reality, but yet would never stop edging herself closer to.

* * *

Juliette's stupid new idea was smart in a way, but it still wasn't something she really wanted to deal with. Flirting with a few guys was a small enough price to pay, but it wasn't what Shelby wanted to hear when she had been pulled aside for some alone time.

No matter though. There wasn't anyone that she wanted, and she had no idea of anyone Juliette liked…

It still pissed her off, and she wasn't sure why. But she was still smirking; she'd noticed Juliette's eyes on her more times than she could count down by the canoes.

* * *

After bitching and moaning as much as she could and suffering the cutting remarks those whines always received, Juliette could see the school. Behind her, Shelby grumbled on about 'Freakin' falling off the bridge like an idiot but she knew it was half hearted. Shelby wasn't that cruel, no matter how many walls she put up.

Horizon looked warm and soft compared to the forest, and she longed to fall into her bed and forget the whole trip ever happened (well, the hiking bits anyway), but the vibes Shelby kept sending her were negative and upsetting. It ruined her plan…

Ever since she had shared her idea, Shelby had seemed a little drawn back, and Juliette hated it. She saw where she was coming from of course, she wouldn't have reacted well either, but she wasn't ready for this kind of stress too be put on her shoulders.

Being found out had quickly becoming one of her worst fears, and thinking about it made her feel sicker than she had ever felt. She knew she wanted too much. She didn't choose between her fear and Shelby and she was paying hard for that, but not enough to make her choice.

So when she spotted the new boy, the tall, athletic blond with the brooding eyes, she saw an easy target; something to keep her plan in motion without it being too difficult. He was another stoner, give him some pep talks here, a kiss there and he would be satisfied and she would have her cover up.

"That looks interesting," Juliette was broken from her thoughts by Shelby, who still walked beside her on hikes, no matter what. "Wonder who he is…"

Juliette knew this was her fault, her rule driving Shelby to try and hurt her while staying under cover (again, her rule, and her fault). "I'll let you know." She smirked back, but kept herself coy. No need to provoke Shelby; she'd jump on her idea just to spite her.

"Yeah right, next life maybe." The soft voice at the end had Juliette thinking, but not enough to keep her from spouting a quick response. "We'll see. It's always class over crass, honey." Only then did she let her mind wander more.

Shelby thought she'd back out of her own plan, her tone told that story in a heartbeat. At that moment, she was just looking at her strangely, like she was confused but mixed with something Juliette couldn't place of Shelby's features.

They made their way over to a low wall to lean against it, relaxing for the first time all day, but Juliette didn't feel like relaxing. Shelby didn't feel right to her. "Boy, this is sure something to write home about…" she said, trying to get a feel for Shelby's thoughts, but the only response she got was a quip and a snarl and then Shelby was gone.

As if startled, she straightened her back and sighed, picking up her bag to follow her. Shelby wasn't happy and now she needed to fix it. Taking the time to thank luck that Katherine was in the infirmary for the time being, Juliette followed the blonde to their cabin, shutting the door quietly behind her and waiting for an explanation.

"I know what you're thinking," Shelby said, quiet. "You think you'll just go after the new guy and everything will be fine." She was right, but Juliette still scoffed as if it were ludicrous, though she said nothing. She had no idea what to say.

Shelby only smiled and shook her head. "That won't work, Princess." She never called her that when it was just them, but there was something different about this, something that felt so soft but hit much harder and left Juliette feeling awful when Shelby grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the showers.

Shelby wasn't angry, not really, this was something else, and Juliette wanted to know what that something was.

* * *

After a show of 'fighting for boys' that involved a spontaneous food spilling business that had all the teachers thinking she was cleverly trying to avoid eating again, Juliette finally got to slip into her own bed.

Kat was still in the infirmary, being kept for a single night to make sure she didn't get sick, something no one but the nurses understood. She would get sick equally there or in bed, but it was the last thing on Juliette's mind that evening. "So what's the new boy like?" she asked Shelby, who moving slowly towards her bed from the bathroom.

"Well someone's blunt…" Shelby responded, turning to face her with a half smile. "He's okay, bit of a bitch though." She seemed sad, and Juliette wanted to hug her and get rid of that feeling, but instead she just smiled.

There was a short silence, broken when Shelby moved to get into her own bed, turning over on her side and murmuring a quiet goodnight, leaving Juliette awake and staring at her back, wondering how to fix whatever had gone wrong.

She didn't have to wait for long. Shelby got up a few minutes later, ruffled her bed a bit and joined Juliette in hers, silent and confident, cuddling up to her like there wasn't something going on in her head that only knew, but only Juliette could fix.

* * *

Scott had run off during the night, but it wasn't something that gave them much entertainment. He looked like a runner anyway. It was the next day, when Shelby wandered off to talk to Ezra, acting as if they were friends, close even, that caught Juliette's eye.

It was a short conversation, and Juliette made sure not to watch too carefully, but it did strike her as strange that they would speak like that, with Shelby hitting him firmly on the back before walking back and sitting (with a considerable distance) beside her again. School and Auggie's drawings were all that was really discussed, until something caught Shelby's eyes, and she needed to say something.

Juliette gritted her teeth at the sight of Shelby's smirk towards the newbie, Scott. Wandering around looking for his punishment… She quickly jumped in to lead him towards the director's cabin, but was shot down, much to Shelby secret pleasure.

Back and forth, why were they even bantering? Juliette wasn't sure, but Shelby understood perfectly. There was no way in hell on earth this would end today…

Was it just to keep Juliette away from him? Maybe, but did she have any viable reason to do that? The answer was no, but she didn't care. Flirting with anything new was interesting, and completing against her… (Her what? Friend with benefits? Whatever) competing with Juliette, was even better.

* * *

"Jules, help him out?" Peter watched Juliette move towards Scott, smiling shyly, but in his peripherals he noted Shelby, rolling her eyes and shaking her head, as if there was something wrong in his request.

The blonde was watching the other two, ignoring him as he talked, with a black expression that Peter saw right through. Something was really bothering her, and he had no idea what it could be. She was still relatively new to Horizon, and he didn't know her well enough to figure it out, but there was something.

Maybe it was just a Shelby problem, or maybe something to do with Scott, she could have a crush on him? He knew she didn't get on with Juliette anymore, maybe she regretted it? He didn't know, but he would need to figure it out to help her. He called her name to break her out of her thoughts, singling her out a little to see what happened. All he got was a sneer.

It was a little while later, when he spotted Shelby's strange, forced laughter at Juliette's encouragement for Scott, did he start to wonder if he had guessed anything right at all.

Glancing to the student he had had the longest out of the three while Ezra climbed, he found her eyes on Shelby, watching her bicker with Katherine in a shaky voice. Juliette's eyes were soft, unblinking, and it only confused their councillor more, but he made sure to glance towards her as soon as Sophie disappeared into the trees after the fleeing Shelby, and saw her staring after her with something similar in her eyes, but it was gone by the time she turned back.

There was something he didn't know, but before he could try and help that, he had a class to teach.

* * *

Sophie recounted her time in the woods with Shelby spitting and clawing at her and Peter pursed his lips, looking through her file and finding nothing but 'habitual runaway'. Now he was certain, there was something else happening, and whether the problem be back in the real world, or there in Horizon, it was his job to help her conquer it.

A single chat about her mysterious shadows wasn't going to cover it, he just needed to keep chipping at those brick walls of hers, and hope she has something other than stone behind them.

* * *

"You have secrets?"

"That's my secret."

Shelby rested her chin down on her forearms, her eyes lowered and her mind lost in a whirlwind of thought. She had never liked climbing walls, and she hoped that people figured that as the reason for her running, but that she herself knew the real reason was something in itself.

Shelby did have secrets, things she had never told another living being and never planned too, and those shadows would forever haunt her, no matter how far away she pushed them. They gave her the underlying anger she had crafted into a trademark and the hard shell the teachers cursed, but the shadow that was with her now wasn't them.

Truthfully, she wasn't sure why she had to run, but something in her at the time demanded it, and so she ditched Sophie and made her way to the back of one of the cabins, a spot she had come to know well, and curled up there waiting for someone to come find her. She didn't want it to be Peter.

She retired to her room to write her essay, knowing very well that Juliette would be out there with him, trying to keep her own shadows hidden. Shadows she didn't even fully understand yet, but Shelby did, and she knew it was only a matter of time until Juliette got that through her head.

That didn't mean she wasn't going to mess with Juliette's plan, just a little bit.

* * *

That went well. Juliette grinned to herself, throwing her empty cup in the trash as she walked by. He liked her, and kissing him had defiantly gotten her somewhere. Tons of people had seen her too. It was always working!

What did Shelby know anyway? She found Scott attractive so what was stopping her? Delighted, she quickened her pace, looking forward to the end of dinner and finally feeling relaxed enough to stand beside Shelby during daylight and unwilling to let the moment pass.

* * *

Shelby watched them eat together while she wrote, if only for the brief couple of seconds that Scott ate. She had wondered why Juliette had come in so happy, and then sat apart from the rest of them, but now it was clear, and she had known it all along.

Juliette had actually done it. Strung along the ex-football star in hopes of getting any rumours dispersed? She hadn't though she would have it in her. But there they were, right in front of her. Hurriedly, she slammed the ring binder shut and made her way over. If distracting Scott was something she could do, she would do it in a heartbeat.

But the moment she sat down, he was gone, and she turned to Juliette in question, but all she got back was a little sing-song of "He doesn't like you," and the delighted expression that didn't feel as contagious as most of Juliette's other smiles.

"You did it didn't you?" She said, trying to keep her tone low and quiet in the loud lunchroom. Juliette's smile didn't even dim and she nodded back, picking at her food with her fork. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"I told you, and it's working." Juliette said, barely making a sound. "No one will even look at us weird now." Shelby stared at her like she had grown a second head.

"No one was looking at us before!" she said, frustrated. Juliette was paranoid and she had always known she was, but this was a bit excessive. "Auggie was just being a perv, normal people don't think that that. And now you're going to end up hurting Scott too!"

Juliette seemed put out when she left her then, but Shelby knew she wouldn't stop now. Paranoia is much too strong a thing to weaken like that.

* * *

Peter paired them together to find the little missing girl, and Shelby wondered if there was a reason, but for only a second. After that all she cared about was that she was now trapped with Juliette already edgy around her. She needed to stop arguing with her, this isn't how friends with benefits should be…

"At least we're looking for her, its more than anyone ever did for me." Before her brain told her not to argue she was already arguing, but Juliette backed down, sensing she was on dangerous territory, and kept a respectable distance for about a half hour, before running off to find her again, only to come to an abrupt stop when she found Shelby on her knees digging at the forest floor.

Shelby wasn't friendly then, and through a quick 'Queen of the rescue' insult Juliette's way, before going back down to look for some kind of mushroom Ezra had told her about. "You're going to eat something you found on the ground?" Juliette found that disgusting enough, but magic mushrooms? She knew what they were… She's taking drugs?

"And I'm going to say 'Yum Yum' when I do." Shelby was tired of this now. Finding the mushroom and getting high seemed like a pretty good day, and she did in fact need them right at that moment, but she knew Juliette would be awkward about it, even in her naivety.

Juliette shook her head. Shelby had been bitchy to her all day, and it was getting on her nerves. Quickly, she thought up a plan. Keep her away from the mushrooms.

Listing off some choice words about finding the girl did little to stop Shelby, and when Shelby finally turned to tell her that she was going to "get good and lost again," Juliette felt snakes bit at her insides.

"You're disgusting." She really didn't want Shelby eating those things. She knew nothing about them, but what if they were dangerous? They were drugs after all…

"Look, Princess," Juliette took a step back. That time it was hostile, angry and it scared her. When Shelby started to advance on her, she stood her ground. "These aren't just for me," she continued, her voice sultry and Juliette lowered her gaze for a moment, breathing in a slow, deep breath. "I plan on sharing these with Scott, who happens to share my fondness for getting wasted."

Juliette brushed her off, unconfident that Scott wouldn't leave her but desperate to get Shelby to understand that she couldn't do it. She needed Scott now. Thankfully, Jeff broke them apart and she didn't need to look into Shelby sneer any longer.

* * *

"I don't believe you." She was at it again, looking for the little mushrooms that Juliette wanted to destroy. Again, she brought up the girl, Gracie, trying to save her security blanket (Scott… she needed to be more civil about this… a name might be a good place to start) while actually doing what they had been assigned to do.

But it was not her words that stopped Shelby hunt, but Jeff's, as he listed the side effect that Juliette had been mildly curious about, much to her sick pleasure. She walked back, her hands on her hips and her smile never fading, waiting for Shelby to follow.

She did of course, and Juliette turned lazily to face her. "Did you tell him?" Shelby asked, narrowing her eyes and Juliette rolled her eyes.

"Of course not! I don't care…" Yeah she did, but Shelby didn't need to know that. She turned again, but Shelby's hand was grabbing her arm, stopping her, faster than she had in her life seen her move.

Shelby pulled, leading her away from Jeff and into the thick foliage with her lips pressed tightly together in a thin line. Only when they could no longer hear the soft humming and calls of the girl's name did Shelby stop and spin around to face the other girl. "Okay, what's going on?"

"I was going to ask you that," Juliette replied, glaring a little. "You've been at my throat all day!" She folded her arms.

Shelby drew in a long, loud breath. "Look, I'm tired, I just wanted to relax and get high." "Why?" Juliette had the question ready before Shelby had even finished her sentence. "Because I like it, believe it or not, it feels good."

Juliette shook her head. "Is there nothing else you can do?" Shelby was sick of it now, and threw her hands up in the air.

"Juliette please, shut up! This is your fault." Not giving her a chance to defend herself, Shelby began to pace. "You just had to… ugh!"

Juliette stood and watched, feeling downbeat but glad in a way. Shelby was hard to get through too, and this was the most she had gotten from her all day in ways of explanation. It was all she was going to get, because as soon as the thought passed through her head, Shelby's lips were on her own and her hands were buried in soft, light hair.

Shelby had always kissed strangely, rough yet gentle, but today it was even more pronounced. Juliette fought to keep from walking backwards under the strength of it, but when her lips parted and their kiss deepened, she gave in, letting Shelby guide her blindly towards a fallen log, similar to the one she had been searching so diligently for mushrooms less than ten minutes before.

Juliette slid down, her hands sliding down to grab Shelby's neck, pulling at the wispy hair there, while Shelby straddled her thighs, her hands resting on Juliette's hips to stay upright. Juliette's tiny moans spurred to on, and her grip tightened.

It was Shelby who broke their kiss, turning her head and turning it back quickly, resting her forehead against Juliette's. "Stop," she was panting, as was Juliette. "We're in the woods."

"We're always in the woods…" Juliette whispered, bumping her head lightly off of Shelby's, sharing her air. "What's the difference now?"

Shelby smiled. "We're here to find Gracie, there's people searching the forest…" Just like that, Juliette wasn't in the mood anymore, and leaned back, giving them just enough space to be apart without loosening their hold. Shelby blew out and breath, and straightened, offering a hand to lift her companion off the mossy floor.

"Come on, we have to split up."

* * *

Juliette was asleep, cuddling that teddy bear to her chest and breathing slow and even. Shelby was awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to match her breath with Juliette's and maybe fall asleep before the sunrise.

No such luck, she was awake for the night and she knew it.

After Ezra had gotten a huge pat on the back for her work finding Gracie, Juliette had sought her out again. She had known. How, Shelby knew she would never know, but it was nice to feel Juliette's arms around her and her happy shirks against her temple.

But through all happiness, her shadows lived, taunting her.


	3. Chapter 3

As days passed and things took on a repetitiveness and only a school can mimic, Scott was fooled entirely. Juliette affections were easy to gain, though she would often stop at the strangest of moments, no longer wanting to speak with him at certain parts of the day or, often, whenever they got alone time.

He was fooled so easily.

Shelby would watch them, Juliette all over him in the lunch line. Peter was away so Juliette wasn't in danger of major trouble, but it still delighted her when Hannah gave her room restrictions. It only meant less time she would have to look at the 'happy couple'.

* * *

It became apparent one day that Juliette did have a soft spot for another boy, and Shelby was quick to ask her about it. She found her alone one day, writing something or other in a large hardback copy. "You care about him. Auggie, I mean."

Juliette's eyes swung up to looked her over, rolling slightly as they did. "I'm only trying to keep on his good side, you should know that by now." The cabin was almost silent, only their breathing and the patter of rain against the windows breaking it.

Shelby licked her lips. "He doesn't care you know." Juliette shrugged and got up, slowly with that same grace Shelby always remembered from her first weeks at Horizon.

"Precautions, Shel, precautions."

* * *

Helping people was not exactly Juliette's strong point, but determination and a hard head had never failed her before. But this time, it had blown up in her face quite badly, and she found herself kissing Auggie by the side of a lake while her friends (including her boyfriend and her… Shelby) splashed each other below.

She knew she was flirting, she loved too, it felt good, but this was a surprise.

Later, Shelby would comment about it, laughing about how Juliette was cheating on her faux boyfriend with two people, and Juliette would glare and sneer at her but still feel her insides twisting in humiliation.

But then again, if her mother were to choose, would she want a slut or a homo for a daughter?

Afterwards, she went out again to speak to Peter about becoming a stand in tutor for the foreign boy, collected a few books and found him out in the yard, smile back plastered on her face.

* * *

Shelby woke early to the sound of chirping birds. Rolling over, she blinked her eyes open so they could land on Juliette's empty bed, and then flick to her clock.

6:30, barely even sunrise.

Shelby knew where Juliette was, it wasn't a difficult guess, but she didn't say a word. Instead she just rolled over once again to cuddle her pillow, wishing for sleep to claim her again.

* * *

"We don' have long to train. It's gonna be a tough road, but I know you guys can do it."

The X challenge race, Shelby didn't care for it already. I just seemed like more stuff she'd have to worry about in theory. But the rest of the Cliffhangers seemed all for it, so why not. It wouldn't be too much either way.

The race seemed difficult enough, but noting the countless hours of hiking wouldn't allow her to do. So she was all for the race. What caught her attention was certain comment Auggie made about Juliette (She's not a jeep, she's a jaguar…) that made her quickly dive in, snapping up the brunette's attention with a made up stat, even raising her eyebrows when hazel eyes locked with her own.

Juliette left seconds later however, so catching her attention hadn't been successful. She had had to storm off after her boyfriend during one of his mood swings to try and calm him down, leaving Shelby with nothing to do but relax in her warm spot on the couch and glare silently.

* * *

Juliette fell down beside her with an annoyed groan, leaning her back against Shelby's arm to stay upright. "I'm sick of him." She spat, turning her head to look into Shelby's math homework, grimacing. "His mood swings are getting on my nerves now…"

Shelby smiled, a wicked tint gleaming her eyes. "You brought this one on yourself, Jules." She replied, her voice strong and even, sarcastic. "Nothing I can do to help."

Juliette sighed and turned, leaning her chin on Shelby's shoulder, still watching her write as if she was interested. Shelby felt her lips against her jaw and her smile faded. An apology. Hands brushed the wispy hair along Shelby's neck, but nothing more was said.

* * *

The rare breaks were now officially Shelby favourite part of this stupid race. They were only training, but Peter pushed them to their limits, and it was taking its toll on everyone. No one even had the energy to moan about it.

But this particular break was different. Juliette was watching her from her log seat with those eyes Shelby couldn't remember seeing in public last. So Shelby stared back. Of course, Juliette broke first and stood, brushing her shorts off and making her way over with those same burning eyes that make Shelby shift in her seat.

"Hey," Juliette greeted, sitting near to her, but keeping her voice low. Shelby responded in kind, careful to keep herself quiet. Juliette's tongue darted out, moistening her dry lips as her eyes wandered. But Shelby's mind snagged. _This wasn't Juliette? She wouldn't do this._

"Juliette," she whispered, stern, when the brunette got closer still. "What're you doing?"

Juliette only smiled. "You look good sweaty." Her voice came out in barely a whisper, but Shelby still heard it. Her lips parted in a gape and her breath was knocked from her chest. Juliette didn't say anything, but let her tongue wander along her teeth in a gesture Shelby had seen a million times before, but knew it would get her nowhere.

Juliette smiled and got up, shooting a quick wink back as she turned and made her way back to the log, where she sat as if in innocence, her eyes not leaving Shelby for a minute. She knew what she was doing. As innocent as she was, she knew exactly what she had done, and she wasn't stopping there.

Those stupid green eyes weren't even blinking anymore, and Shelby took in a slow, deep breath. If her breathing had been gasps before she didn't know what this was. She wasn't even into this kind of thing usually… not really anyway. But this was Juliette, and she didn't flirt like this.

Maybe, if she was a little less experienced in the ways of Juliette Waybourne, she would have thought her insane, and ignored her little show. But she knew what was happening. Juliette needed attention sometimes, and thought she found it irritating every now and then, it had its advantaged that she loved to take advantage of…

Later, when Shelby's want had become painful to bear, she jogged to Juliette's side, making sure to tell her all she wanted to hear, whispering little things in her ear that the others thought were insults, but Juliette could barely contain her blush at the sound.

Shelby left her with a smirk, satisfied.

* * *

"Still being nice to Scott I see." Shelby's words did nothing to Juliette anymore, especially that particular sentence.

Like clockwork, she turned away from her schoolbook and offered Shelby the most sarcastic smile she could muster. "Still trying to steal him?"

* * *

Truthfully, though she would never admit it, Shelby had a feeling Juliette wasn't straight. Or even bi. There was just something so different in the way she held her compared to the way she was around the boys, even Scott.

Scott… She felt bad for him, being brought into something he had no place being in for any reason. She was not free of guilt in this herself. She flirted with him too, and though it was hardly serious, she did like him. He was handsome, and tolerable sometimes…

But it was Juliette on her mind that night. Juliette who she was pressed up against, with those long, scarred arms wrapped around her from behind, as if she did not want to look into the very feminine face of who she held.

She would never say it of course. Juliette wouldn't stand her saying it. But it was the elephant in the room now as far as she was concerned, whether Juliette knew it or not.

As if she sensed she was in her thoughts, Juliette's eyes fluttered open, blinking away the sleep. "Shel?" Her tired voice sounded and Shelby tightened her grip on her arms.

"Yeah?"

"Why're you still awake?" Juliette was in a state of half sleep, murmuring her words as her hand's flexed and for a minute Shelby didn't have an answer she could give. Thankfully, her quick thinking saved her. Not for the first time.

Shrugging, she whispered back, "Scott was shit to me earlier, called me a 'used car'." and Juliette sighed, and suddenly Shelby was glad she was exhausted. She could have said anything and Juliette would accept it as legit. "I'm sorry he was being mean to you." Juliette whispered a bit too loud but Kat didn't even stir.

"It's not your fault, he's not exactly charming." Juliette huffed, already cuddling down into Shelby's hair again, her moment of awake fading fast. In seconds Shelby found herself silent again, wondering idly how long I would be before nights like this would disappear like the days did.

* * *

The steam emerging from the bathroom as the door opened was like mist, rolling out and fading slowly, but it still drew Juliette's attention as the warm air hit her skin, quickly cooled and transformed back into cold water, dripping slowly down her arms.

It was Shelby who emerged from the shower, her damp hair already forming a small wet patch on her t-shirt. Juliette offered a tiny smiled, lasting only a second, until Katherine disappeared into the bathroom to take the vacated spot. Shelby grinned. "You use all up all the hot water every time, you know that right?"

Juliette laughed in a quiet, breathy sort of way. "Yeah, but…" having nothing for an explanation, she shrugged. Shelby rolled her eyes, wandering over towards her own bed to towel off her hair. Juliette watched her, a tiny detail that had been waging war in her for weeks once again trying to  
escape its confines.

She had noticed something in the last few days; it was quite obvious that Shelby may have an attraction to Scott, what with all the flirting, and it made her nervous. A part of her wished to stay quiet, but the louder, more prying side wanted answers. For once, she opted to voice it, without beating around the bush. "Shelby… You like him don't you? You _like_ Scott."

For her part, Shelby froze, but only for a fraction of a second. Juliette still noticed. "He's hot." She answered in a bored, Shelby way, a voice Juliette knew was bullshit. "But he's too far up his own ass for me."

Juliette smiled and went back to brushing her hair, relaxed enough to take the risk that that was truth.

"Besides, I don't need him." Shelby smiled with a shrug, but she knew it she was keeping something inside for him. Maybe the same crush-like feelings she had held for Juliette, or something else. She didn't know yet.

* * *

"You danced with me." Juliette awed at the memory that evening.

Shelby, from her place in her own bed, shrugged and leaned up on her forearm. "You dragged me up!" Juliette shook her head and smiled anyway, still watching the ceiling.

Shelby had seemed a little annoyed at her that evening, since the party had ended, but she hadn't been able to pinpoint why exactly that was. And putting it off seemed like a good plan at the time, but she wasn't in the mood for Shelby's mood swings. She already had Scott to deal with in that department.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

A sigh and a sudden "Go to sleep, Juliette, nothing's wrong," was all the answer she got. Shelby was stern, and turned off the light with a harsh click, sending them both into darkness. Juliette could just about see her outline as she made herself comfortable on the bed, lying on her side, facing her.

She could see the light in Shelby's eyes, reflected stars, and stared back, waiting for Shelby to break the contact. She always did when she was angry. Not this time. Juliette could see her teeth gleaming for a second, and grinned back her response.

Though it took some time, Shelby was quick to sigh and relax again. "I hate you," she whispered, but her smile gave her away.

"I know," Shelby's eyes dropped for a second at her words, staring at the beds across the aisle and then her slid shut, her hands gripping the sheets in a vicelike grip Juliette couldn't bear to see. Adjusting eyes gave her the sight of Shelby's clenched jaw and white knuckles, and her breathing was anything but steady.

If she had the courage, Juliette would have gotten up and joined her, trying to scare away anything worries she had. But she didn't, and she didn't even move a muscle. She just watched over her until her breathing evened out and signalled sleep.

Juliette licked her lips but didn't make a sound. There was something off again…

* * *

Juliette woke early to the sound of chirping birds. Rolling over, she blinked her eyes open so they could land on Shelby's empty bed, and then flick to her clock.

It was too early to be awake, they still had almost half an hour to lounge around before chores. But she had a vague idea where Shelby was, and gritted her teeth. She needed to get Shelby to quit smoking…

Meanwhile, on the other side of campus, Shelby didn't feel as good as she usually did after getting something she thought she needed so badly. This time she felt like shit. It was far too much of a familiar feeling.

But at that moment she didn't care. She had her punching bag for whenever she needed it, and that punching bag just happened to be a certain couple…

* * *

Flirting with Scott had been fun, but the moment she felt him, that annoying guilt started resurfacing again and Shelby only felt worse for it.

Splitting up Scott and Juliette didn't have the same effect on her anymore.

So, feeling utterly deflated, having hidden her new cigarettes as well as she could, Shelby found herself on the way back to her cabin, tired and irritated now. But what had she expected really, she hadn't exactly felt great all day.

So when she pulled the door open and stormed inside, only to be greeted with the sight of an amused looking Kat and the blank looking auburn haired girl that she had never seen before. Automatically, Shelby bit down a groan. New people were the last thing she wanted to deal with that day.

So she kept walking, taking in Juliette on her way, who lay looking a little put out on her bed, and shot her a wink, as if it would make her feel better to see Juliette smile back.

* * *

It had become difficult to speak now, with so many new eyes on them at once, and nights together had evaporated like mist. Daisy didn't even seem to sleep sometimes…

But there was one night, the night of Isaac's OD, that Shelby felt her arms being shaken and growled herself awake. She opened her eyes in anger, but they softened far too fast for Shelby to say a word. In front of her stood Juliette, arms wrapped around her midsection while she shivered, her eyes looking watery in the moonlight.

"Shelby," she whispered, and her voice was weak. Shelby wondered if her eyes really were watery. "Can I…" she didn't finish, and Shelby just lifted her sheet. Juliette didn't waste a second and was facing Shelby faster than she could blink.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" Juliette averted her eyes for a moment. "You're going to laugh at me," she whispered, her hands rushing up to play with a strange of hair that had escaped the flow of the rest. Shelby shook her head, barely moving it but portraying her meaning. "… I'm scared, Shel."

Shelby narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

Juliette didn't know, so she moved closer, blocking out the world with the quick closing of eyelids and she hid at Shelby's throat, waiting out the night somewhere she knew temptation was hidden.

Daisy lay awake, eyes early closed but not really, and she listened. _Wonder what went on there…_

In the morning, when Daisy would ask in a monotone voice what they were to each other, Shelby would spit out excuses. "It shuts her up," "I don't care," "I needed sleep," but Daisy would have none of it, and only smile when Shelby walked away with a brisk and annoyed pace towards the classrooms, her teeth set in a snarl.

* * *

The next day, Juliette was gone, and no one knew where she was. Disappeared into thin air and Shelby's jaw had begun to hurt trying to keep it steady.

The moment she knew something was wrong, when she found  
everyone crowded around trying to track her, her stomach had dropped like a pebble in the sea. Everything happened so quickly after that. They were rushed off the mountain with everyone asking questions and worried and she just felt sick.

There were so many ideas thrown around; what if she had been abducted? Dragged off? None of them were good. But she could do nothing. She said absolutely nothing. Juliette wasn't hurt, she knew it. She couldn't be. Just because they loved to wallow in pity didn't mean she would. Juliette would be fine…

That night, she knew they were all in the common room, having a little sob session about whatever had come to their mind and she didn't want to be a part of it. Not really. Juliette had told her not to let anything slip and just because she was missing that didn't mean she would start breaking the rules now.

Being alone was better anyway. She didn't need their negativity at that moment. It didn't help Juliette or even sooth nerves. Shelby kept to her room for her period of shock, letting her mind work around the subject at its own pace, and without theories making it race.

Juliette had never gave her instructions here, but it was easy to guess what she would have asked of her.

So she chased off the others and claimed the fire for herself, relaxing in one of the seats until guilt crept in and she wondered what comfort Juliette had, where ever she was.

* * *

It seemed as though every mistake she had even made had come crashing back down on her. She regretted snapping at Juliette every time she whined, or not explaining why she needed to fuck that idiot for cigarettes, for flirting with Scott every chance she got…

Sometimes she thought about the chance that she would never have to say those things to her. But more often, she waited for Juliette to come home. She knew she would.

* * *

"…Like turning into a size 14!" Shelby was glad to see her smile again, it seemed like she hadn't been anywhere near happy since she had been found. It didn't even fade like she expected it too, not really anyway. Her eyes were bright again, like renowned life was brought back to them and it was more than Shelby could ever have wished for.

When they had brought Juliette home, she was delusional, talking about her hallucinations, and she still was, so sure that she had seen these things that weren't really there. Shelby wondered if she was eating anymore.

They sat in silence for a time after that, sitting on the bed in a light stare off, one that Juliette broke with a long, slow exhale and bumping the blonde gently with her knee. "Thanks, for this I mean…" Shelby shrugged and felt her fingers brush lightly long Juliette's jeans, but didn't remember moving them there.

"Anytime," she replied, gentle, and Juliette felt that sturdy, familiar feeling that made her want to smile. Shelby was closer now, leaning over her body with one hand on the bed and the other still on Juliette's leg. She was so close…

Then just like that they were kissing again, and Shelby didn't care that Peter and Hannah were undoubtedly outside waiting for her, or that Juliette could be sick, even though she could feel the cuts on her face when her hands brushed it.

But there is something on her mind, that tiny thought that she never voiced because it was madness to do so. They were on the same page about this, but she was quickly figuring out that they may not be.

Shelby had felt some strange things those two days without Juliette, and had had so much time to think, and they weren't the same as they had been. Somewhere, she had crossed a line she didn't want crossed and she couldn't even place when. But with Juliette gone, and nothing to draw her in, she had still felt that want, and it made her queasy.

She was fucking everything up… again!

"Juliette," she pulled away, silently delighting when Juliette followed her. "Jules, you know what we are right?"

Juliette's eyes opened and she shrugged, the movement bringing back the dull pain in her head. "I don't care," she said, too quickly, before closing the gap once again. This time, Shelby didn't pull back.

Her shadows still haunted her, but at least she had some escapes. Or maybe she had just gained a new secret to fruitlessly grapple.

* * *

Juliette wanted to laugh, watching Shelby get chased around by Ezra like he was a puppy. It was the best thing about the stupid assignment. Mind an egg for a few days… it's not the hardest thing to do. And with entertainment like Shelby, what was there to complain about?

Things between them were easy now, almost without trying they could read each other, know where to go and when to be there without speaking. They weren't together, but that was the way they liked it.

Shelby had no commitment skills, and Juliette knew it from the moment they had befriended one another. Well, she had them, but they weren't tested much, and for things like the project they were short lived at best. Mainly because Shelby had no desire to even try.

Listening to her was better than homework, so Juliette turned and watched her rant about all her fake schools and money for as long as she pleased.

* * *

So maybe her guilt had become much stronger without her even realising it, but when she found herself in a fight with Scott, warring over _Auggie_ of all the things he could have chosen, she felt like it had all just been slowly building up inside her to the point of spewing forth in words she knew she'd regret.

But what could she do, only split away from him and finally let her twisting stomach rile tears into her eyes.

* * *

"You're being heartless again," Shelby rolled her eyes but said nothing. Juliette lay on her back, staring at the ceiling as if it could hold an interest. "It's not Kat's fault, you know. She's upset…"

"Look, I'm sorry, but I'm tired and have more things to think about that Kate, okay?"

Juliette turned to face her then, looking at with big, curious eyes and Shelby sank deeper into her cushions. It would have been easier to go to bed early at this point…

Juliette was pouting and Shelby sighed. There would be no early night for her now. "I'm not in the mood."

"Can I help?"

No, she couldn't, but Shelby said nothing to discourage her from trying.

* * *

"Have I ever told you how much I love making fun of you in public?" Shelby rolled her eyes at the question but replied anyway. "You haven't actually."

Juliette smiled. "Well I enjoy it." They had had a pretty fun session of back and forth at dinner that evening, and, though neither was mad about these, there was a certain hostility in them that had their blood rushing and their teeth bared in smirks of triumph, followed by sneers of derision, no matter the outcome.

Juliette was walking in the dreamlike way she often did when she was in a good mood, simply in circle around their dorm like there was things to be seen. Shelby just watched, eyes judging but mind blank.

Juliette was right, even in her state of bliss. Fighting in public wasn't something she would change about them.

* * *

They had become too obvious now, acting as if they were nothing, but overacting was nothing short of ridiculous, and when Ezra spotted them one day from his bedroom window, in the middle of the night on his way back from the bathroom, he finally understood what Daisy had told him about.

They sat on the wet ground, leaning against the log walls, huddled together under the blanket they had brought. He had disregarded Daisy's rambling on them at first, but now he was starting to rethink that decision.

Juliette seemed half asleep, leaning her head on Shelby's shoulder, her forehead wrinkled under worry while Shelby stared into space, face empty of the malice that was usually the only thing it held. Ezra had seen Shelby's good side, or at least he thought he had, but even that sliver of kindness in her would never bring her to this.

One had rested behind Juliette's body, her hand brushing through long, dark hair in a sleepy, scratching motion that had his eyes narrowed in wonder.

At that moment, bright blue eyes snapped down to look at him, and morphed quickly into glare. Silently, Ezra stepped back from the window and closed the blind, climbing back into bed slowly and carefully, as if worried Shelby would be behind him with that icy glare.

But she wouldn't be. She was still out in the cold, sitting there with Juliette. Outside because they couldn't risk getting caught anymore, not with Scott's accidental protection gone, and Juliette still needed her like that sometimes.

Shelby would rest her head down on dark hair and let out a slow breath, trying to relax and dreading the morning. Trying to hide this may be more difficult that she thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Ezra had said nothing to her, and she had said nothing to him, but Shelby would still never let her guard down. She needed to keep watch. She could feel the threat breathing down the neck of her make believe world, where everything was okay. She could' lose that world now, not after all that she had done to get it.

She saw him a lot with Daisy, and that more prone to stress part of her worried that they were plotting, but she knew they were friends, or at least something like that…

Meanwhile, Juliette had noticed something herself. Auggie was completely ignoring her. He even missed out on their tutoring session, and going to find him and only given her more question than before. All he even did was snap at her when he was in those moods.

Juliette was never someone to give up because of a few witty insults, and Auggie's bad boy attitude meant nothing to her in ways of threat, so she took nothing on board and sent Scott after him. She knew there was something wrong in Auggie's life, and Scott was a brilliant ally to have. Truthfully, she was just proud she still had that effect on him, to make him do as she pleased so easily…

Even through their fight, she still had her 'beard' (as Shelby had so colourfully put it, though Juliette still wasn't sure what exactly that was…) to protect her from prying eyes.

To her, the plan was still flawless.

* * *

The bathroom had become something of a free space for them, in the middle of the night or early in the morning if they were up. No one had interrupted their times yet, and Shelby was hoping to continue that, all they needed was another loose thread.

Cloaked in darkness, with only the sliver of moonlight streaking in from the window pane, everything was grey and dark, the cold floor rivalled with the heat of their skin. It was quiet, the only sounds being the echoes of themselves, mixed with the animals sounds outside, the birds calling from the sky.

The walls in their bunk were like paper, and keeping Juliette quiet was more of a joy than sleeping anyway, no matter the time. But she often got too far ahead of herself when she kissed Juliette, forgot what they were, or what they weren't. So when the request left her lips she barely even noticed it.

"I want you to break up with him." There it was, out in the open, and she barely registered Juliette's intake of breath when their lips came together again and her weight pressed Juliette's back against the cold wall.

As if she hadn't heard it, Juliette kissed back, her legs parting and her hands winding up into long, blonde hair, but she had something waking her up now, something on her mind. Even if Shelby wasn't aware of it, she had learned something new that day, that maybe Shelby hadn't wanted her to hear.

Shelby knew her boundaries, and though her hands roamed, they were careful, more controlled than her lips, and though Juliette had always been thankful for that, now she was starting to wonder if losing herself would really be so bad.

* * *

"He dumped me."

"What?" Shelby eyes were wider than Juliette had ever seen them. Juliette only smiled, almost smirking.

"He thinks I like Auggie," it was almost a laugh and her shook her head at her own words.

"Don't you?"

"… Not at all."

* * *

"How long is it going to take for her to get the message?" Juliette's growling was entertaining at the start, but Daisy was beginning to feel sorry for her now.

Shelby had taken it upon herself to flirt with Scott in front of the brunette and Daisy knew it was driving her insane. She understood better than Juliette of course. Shelby had a part to play just as much as Juliette did, but she was too blind to see that. And Scott, as kind as he was to them on his good days, was a brilliant way to balance them and give then a basis to fight more.

But Juliette was pissed, glaring at the two like they made her sick and Daisy got exactly where she was coming from. Comparing her own lover to a dog in her flare of anger brought a smile to Daisy's lips. Silly Juliette didn't even get it yet. Neither did Shelby.

She knew exactly what message Juliette had tried sending, and even coupled with Scott's persistence for keeping her away, Shelby still hadn't received it. So she played along to please her.

"Your ex is meeting me in the janitors shed at 7:30." Just like that, Daisy watched Juliette's shoulders slump and her voice soften, and even she felt pity for the girl. Daisy thought herself to be smart enough when it came to seeing emotion, but there were things that even she didn't have the real answers to. Letting Juliette rant was all she had to offer.

In time, however, she grew tired of it, and, even on her last leg of kindness, after a gentle jab, she offered help. "I know." She said, soft and quiet, "about you and her and its fine." She continued, patting Juliette's arm in a condescending way that told Juliette something else other than her words. Juliette's head shot up and around, only for her eyes to land on Daisy's retreating back.

In seconds she was standing, gathering her books and fleeing after the new girl, her mind buzzing with questions. Just as Daisy had known she would follow. But, though she would enjoy taunting the girl as much as she did helping her, she wished Juliette could pick up on messages better than she sent them…

* * *

Shelby had set up a dinner. Why? Well even she wasn't really sure what she was doing anymore, but what was the harm in it really?

She had no strings, so she could do as she pleased, but a dinner was something else, and it worried her how much effort she was putting into this. Shelby had long ago lost connections with her emotions, but guessing at them had only landed her wrong, so this would work for now.

Perhaps she wanted to test out that emotion she had for Scott, or challenge Juliette's confidence, or maybe even just see if anything happened. No matter what that was, she found herself alone in the freezing room by the end of it.

Well, not alone per say. Instead of anything tolerable, Ezra had shown his face, and eaten most of the food she had done things she regretted to get her hands on. Talking with Ezra was different now. There was less ground for her to stand on, and he knew he had the upper hand. She knew it too.

* * *

Leaving Scott later on that night, Shelby felt something different that she had entering. She only felt saddened now. His mother had raped him… she had thought of a lot of things that could have made Scott the way he was but she was wrong on every guess. Hell, she didn't even know that kind of thing happened.

She had no time to think anymore as companied with her stunned mind came an extremely pissed Juliette, who spat accusations at her as if she had fallen from grace and fell in the mud as she did, almost as soon as she was back inside. All she wanted was the fire's warmth and she knew she had things to answer for, but she didn't really care.

Pushing Juliette aside with her arm, she let her talk as they walked, let her demand to know what had happened between her and Scott, but she gave no answers. That was, until Juliette gripped her wrist and spun her around with something she had never before seen in her eyes burning like embers.

"Everyone knows," Juliette growled, dropping her hand like it burned her. "Daisy told me. Her, and Ezra, who else?"

"How do you know about Ezra?"

"How do you?" Juliette wanted to yell, but kept her voice low, a hiss. But this, as it turns out, was not the way to approach a tired and emotionally exhausted Shelby. So she found herself alone again, terrified and furious. Maybe the plan she had thought was so flawless had some huge faults.

* * *

Peter, who had long since forgotten his leads, leaned against the stairs, coming to the strange realisation that maybe there really was something else he should have factored into the equation. While he watched Shelby storm away and Juliette run her hands through her hair while her breaths came deeper, he knew that he was right.

* * *

Days passed too quickly, and Shelby was still blocked when she tried to think forward. Juliette had gone into a state of quiet, and didn't talk much anymore. At least not to her…

So she was given time to think for herself, without that distraction that kept wiping her mind clean to keep her from true answers. Yet she was still coming up blank.

Scott was quickly becoming a friend to her, and while Juliette was no longer around, something of a replacement. But what on earth did that mean?

She was healing him, or at least it seemed like she was. Having that emotional outlet in her was softening him, even the others were starting to see it. And maybe he was healing her too. She was living through him, healing as he healed. Their stages corresponding as she tied them closer. Because what binds people more than pain?

If she had a choice, she wouldn't care, but she couldn't do that. She had Scott to worry about now, and he was quick to worm his way under her skin. But her mind still would land on Juliette in the evenings, no matter how often she told herself to stop.

* * *

It wasn't Shelby who noticed Juliette fading more and more into the background, but rather Daisy. And Daisy in turn noticed Peter lurking around looking for answers, but was quick to try and distract him with whatever she thought of in the second, be it his choices to his lifelines.

Shelby didn't seem to notice much outside Scott anymore. It seemed as if her whole life had switched to his needs and feelings in less than a week, like he had infected her with his brooding to replace her bitchiness. And some replacement it was - it was only part time, and when it came back it was only amped more.

But when she finally got her alone, Daisy had made it a mission to try and get through to her on some levels. "The path to true love is paved with broken glass," she spoke in solemn tones to her one afternoon, hoping that the older girl would get some form of sense from the quote. But nothing, only a glare and a bitten back curse.

Shelby knew she knew, and maybe she just didn't care anymore about people finding out, but in Daisy's imagination it ran deeper. A fragile relationship can be broken in two so easily, with nothing more than a mismatched word, and they leave jagged scars.

But she still heard them sometimes in the middle of the night. There was no split, but the wounds were still very much there.

* * *

A horse of all things, found its way onto campus one day, and Shelby couldn't help but find it funny. A beat up horse escapes and where does it go? A fucking school for damaged kids that's where.

Juliette found it beautiful of course. She always did find the goodness things like that. Shelby couldn't do that. So while she kept Juliette's outline in her peripherals, she lay down on a nearby log and narrowed her eyes against the sun.

Watching the brunette try to get close to the gelding was something altogether. Shelby would never have even bothered. And that was the thought that struck something in the blonde, brought her slowly towards a realisation that she was surprised she had missed; Juliette was her exact opposite. In almost every way.

They had their similarities, but she would never approach that animal in front of so many people, no way in hell. Juliette tried to help people and failed almost every time, taken up as a bitch as results, while she had learned better a million times around…

And while Shelby kept looking for differences to support her faulty theory, Daisy rolled her eyes, as if reading her thoughts and dissecting them for her own humour. Shelby was wrong of course, more than wrong. Being more learned of the real world's darkness did not make separate you from one who wasn't. Darkness was diverse, but in the end it was always a void, no matter where you had fallen in. Juliette had just gotten trapped on the opposite end, her own world's emptiness separating her from the real world's, where Shelby resided.

The bay fled of course, and they all watched him go without moving a muscle. But, naturally, they were stopped by that same brunette Shelby had been rapidly cutting through, and their new plans for the day were drawn up.

Horse wrangling didn't seem like too bad a task for a few days.

* * *

Scott wanted out, and Shelby knew from the start of his little adventure that he would be caught within a day, and wasn't too fazed by it in all honesty. He could run from his problems, like she did every day, but heading them off would do him good, even she could see it.

She wouldn't leave with him, no matter how much he asked. She wasn't a runner, but she understood his need to go, and didn't say a word to stop him. She told Juliette of course, and she did nothing to help her confliction, only gave her that look she couldn't decipher and kissed her jaw, going back to sleep within minutes.

Or pretending, Shelby knew she was just avoiding confrontation.

Daisy had tried to help, and was considerably more helpful, though still barely had an impact on Shelby at all in the long haul. The goth's supposed connections with the outermost world would only supply so much, and apparently, she needed to make decisions for herself.

Daisy knew she had something in her for Scott, but without even having to tell her she could see that something stood in the way. And that something wasn't even trying to advise her either. It drove Shelby insane that she had been given so much to choose from. Daisy's cryptic words held no meaning to her jumbled head, and so they were disregarded too quickly.

She knew she would never leave with him. Helping him find the easiest ways to escape was the best option she could see.

Then, just like that, he was gone.

* * *

It wasn't until that evening, after everyone had found out, that Shelby began to break. Maybe it was everyone's soothing words, or the stress, or the overwhelming fear that she could have cast that boy into his doom that made her run to find Juliette.

She had stood apart from the group that day, watching the skyline as if it would bring Scott home unscathed. Guilt had never felt so bad in her entire life. She had done things she knew were wrong, but this was the ultimatum that made each of them seem insignificant. Finding Juliette only made the pain worse for a moment, but at least then it would fade. That's how it worked!

She found her leaning against the wall in the kitchen, staring at the ceiling with unseeing eyes, daydreaming perhaps, but Shelby took no notice. She walked towards her with a determined pace and touched her arm to wake her. Juliette looked down and her eyes dropped almost immediately. She got it.

She saw the watery eyes and the quivering chin, the desperation for distraction, anything to keep her from thinking of her mistake. Juliette understood. She had been waiting for her to seek her out.

So she allowed herself to be led out of the building and towards the trees. Keeping out of sight of course. Shelby would never risk anyone seeing her cry, especially to Juliette of all people. She wouldn't risk it either. Even hidden behind sheds, Juliette's eyes flitted around for bystanders.

But there were none. It was too close to curfew, and the dew was already coating the campus in cold wetness that made them shiver through their jackets. But it didn't really matter, Shelby just needed to let it out and there was only one way to truly do that.

Forcing herself to stay quiet huddled in the bathroom wasn't something she found appealing.

But when Juliette finally stopped them, leaning against rough bark and pulling abruptly on Shelby's hand to stop her, and when Shelby finally broken down into tears, Juliette only sighed. She gently lowered them to the floor, not strong enough to hold them both up, and let Shelby whimper to her in intelligible words she didn't understand.

Juliette knew this would just be another short lived episode, just like the last few weeks had been full of tiny escapes that Shelby always seemed so guilty for now. She got it, their thing wasn't really real, but these snatches in time were getting hard to brush off.

Shelby gripped the blue, cold fabric of Juliette's coat between her cold fingers, willing her body to stop shaking. At least she knew Juliette wouldn't let her hurt, even though it was dangerous for her to do so.

* * *

Shelby didn't feel right when she left Juliette in the forest. That wonder cure she was looking for wasn't there and it send a shockwave of realisation through her.

She could still hear Juliette humming to herself. They had always waited a few minutes, never leaving a place together, and Juliette had gotten into the assuming habit of humming while she was alone. Or thought she was. She had no sense of sound travel it seemed, and Shelby would always hear her as she walked. It was nice.

That same sound was still rattling in her head now, but the effect was gone. Her cries had eased something, but she still felt stones in her chest, gathering up there quicker than anyone could remove them.

She couldn't understand the sudden changes. Juliette was an escape that didn't last, and Scott was a reality that turned dreamlike over time. With her support structure that was Scott missing, and Juliette turned shockingly colder, she was thrown for a loop and didn't know how to regain any reality.

* * *

The horse feel sick not long after that, and Shelby felt a sudden, desperate need to help him. To compensate for her array of feelings maybe… whatever it was, she needed this stupid animal to live now.

It wasn't long before that faded though, just like everything else. The vet was quick to predict his death and in that instant she no longer cared. She couldn't, wouldn't, sign herself up for extra pain, not now. She didn't need it. But she still saw the horror on her classmates faces as she turned and left them to care for the horse that seemed to believe itself hers.

Juliette found her during a brief break she took, and berated her for her choice, but Shelby ignored it, only gave Juliette the look that told her to leave, and went back to daydreaming, laying as if dead. She knew Juliette was annoyed at her for giving in so quickly, but so what? What had she really expected of her anyway?

The day drew to a close and her whole body was heavy, saturated with thoughts and images that would not leave her. When did she become so emotionally invested? She had never been like this before. Not for a long time.

But she could not fight this, and hiding in the bathroom trying to was doing nothing to scare them off. The rest of the Cliffhangers were sleeping in the shed, taking turns to walk the horse. Before she knew it, she was outside, and wondering how any of them could sleep in the cold like this.

Juliette and Auggie were up, his hand brushing on her face and Shelby quickly averted her gaze, looking down at the floor from her place in the shadows. Juliette could do as she pleased, and she wouldn't ruin that for her.

"Maybe it's just his time ya'know…" Auggie speech forced Shelby forward, and as soon as she felt the aura was safe for her to enter, she emerged from her darkness. "Can I have a turn?"

Juliette turned to face her, looking more annoyed than Shelby would have expected. "I thought you didn't care about the stupid horse," she spat, and for once, Shelby was grateful for Auggie as he told to Juliette to "lay off," and, surprisingly, Juliette did. She handed her the rope and gave her basic instructions in that downbeat voice again, and disappeared back to her sleeping bag with sad eyes, Auggie trailing behind her.

* * *

Shelby didn't wake anyone when her time came for a break. She wasn't tired anyway. Walking the horse was alright, not at all as tiring as she would have guessed, and she knew the others wouldn't wake up, no matter how often the stubborn gelding fought against her. They were exhausted too.

But her chest pains were somewhat lifted late into the night, when Peter returned with Scott by his side, each sporting blank expression. When she tried to greet him, Scott was distant, but she didn't care. She expected that from the moment she had told on him. The pain was lifted, but the distress would always be there.

She returned to the sheds after that, to rest her legs for a second. The horse nickered and stood beside her, grateful for the short break she gave him. She herself leaned one way and then the other, recalling something she had once heard about keeping your legs moving.

It was so calming to know Scott was back, and he was safe. No doubt she'd hear the whole story soon, but for now she'd get through this night and keep her horse alive. Not her horse… _the_ horse…

But she still didn't feel right. It wasn't worry for what tomorrow would bring. She knew she would be on the receiving end of Scott's anger, but that would pass soon, he wouldn't hold a grudge for too long. She hated having to feel things…

"It must be nice to be you," she said, without even thinking, and the horse's ears swivelled towards her to catch the sound. "You don't feel this kind of thing, do you?"

The horse said nothing in return. Shelby sighed, and began to walk him again, in circles around the shed. She thought maybe he would be bored of staying at the front of it.

"I don't know what to do," she muttered, her footsteps heavy. He tossed his big head, knocking it into her a little and throwing her of balance for a second. She huffed. "Yeah, but you don't get it."

Shelby kicked the earth and she walked, skidding along it almost. "I really like him, you know? I'm not just spiting Juliette anymore…" His huge eyes may have been following her, but she really didn't know in that moment. They seemed to see everything.

She paused again to lean against the cold metallic walls. "It used to be so easy," she said, her words slurring a little in sleep. She'd get her second wind soon. "When it was just… without him." He pulled on his halter rope.

She could have laughed, but it was her sleep deprived mind demanding it. "I miss her," she said, pulling off the wall again. "I threw her to the side and now there's no going back…" The horse only swatted her with his tail, reminding her to keep walking. Subconsciously probably, since he butted her with his muzzle seconds later, asking for another pause. Shelby was having none of it.

Pulling him along, she continued her murmured lament. "I feel things for him I've never felt for another person, but then there's Juliette and she's always in the way!" she kicked the ground, startling a whinny out of the horse that she quickly shushed, as if he would understand. "Quiet, you'll wake someone!"

Shelby pulled hard on the rope to get him moving again, her whole weight going into moving him now. Why was she even talking to the horse? He didn't understand her…

Fatigue, her mind knew it was fatigue, but she didn't feel tired at all. And why not talk to him; it wasn't like he could tell anyone.

"I'm stuck here. I'm the middle." She licked her lips and shuffled forwards. They had left the shed behind now, but she was finally hitting her back up store of energy, and blinked the tiredness out of her eyes. Her steps were more deliberate now, and her mind was at ease.

Now she just needed to keep the stupid horse alive.

Juliette lay listening, her head on Auggie's shoulder.

* * *

Shelby woke Kat, had her send everyone else to bed and disappeared seconds later, so no one could tell her to take a break. She didn't need it. She had never been more awake in her life.

* * *

Juliette didn't sleep anymore in her bed than she did in the shed. The comfort was more, but her mind wouldn't shut off. Of course it wouldn't, she had things to think about now.

For a little while, she had felt guilty for accidentally eavesdropping on Shelby, but that feeling was quickly eclipsed by the vehement need to talk to the seemingly sleepwalking girl outside. But she kept herself in check, creeping up on Shelby like that would end her up shunned.

So she lay on her back staring at the ceiling, tracing patterns with tired eyes. Now she was just as confused of Shelby, and it only annoyed her how easily she could get her thinking about things like this in the middle of the night.

Of course, without thought she knew what she was going to do, she just wanted to find a way around it.

* * *

The Barringer's showed up bright an early the next morning, barely an hour after they themselves had fallen out of bed. The Cliffhangers had all seemed to have had a rough night, but Shelby didn't seem any more worse for wear than normal. In fact, she looked just like she had the night before.

Juliette felt heavy and slow but she kept it quiet, excited to see how work had paid off for the gelding, who, as it seemed, would have a pretty good life now that someone had intervened. It made her feel a little better.

But her long night had brought her no answers, so she watched Scott approach without so much as a glance in Shelby's direction. He hadn't much time before he would have to face whatever his parents needed him for, the thing Shelby cursed his family for.

She grabbed Auggie gently by his arm and led him away, her eyes cast to the ground and her lip worried between her teeth. Moving out of the way was easier said than done.


	5. Chapter 5

It was strange how quickly things had seemed to come full circle. Juliette was ignoring her again.

Well, not really, but she was defiantly more friendly than flirty now and it was more confusing than Shelby was ready to deal with. She knew that there was something she had missed, another Juliette problem that would venture its way to her eventually, but this was different than the other times.

Even bringing up Leo, her clingy cigarette delivery dude, didn't get her attention. She only smiled weakly with the others, too busy searching her own mail to even glance up and catch her eye.

She would go to Daisy for some advice in as much of a coated way as possible, but Daisy would only smirk and give some more complicated spiritual words that she knew Shelby didn't understand. Daisy seemed to love messing with her on matters such as this, using poetry as a cover.

Reluctantly, in a moment of _severe_ weakness, she even went to Ezra, but he had no time for it. His parents were visiting and he had so much to do before they arrived. She could see he wasn't looking forward to it, and so let him go. Though he did call her back with a quick "It'll work out fine," that she didn't appreciate in the slightest.

It was nice to have two people she could talk to that weren't Juliette, but the two she had gotten proved themselves useless.

* * *

Juliette had become so immersed in her mother's wedding that it was starting to worry her. That bubbly Juliette that used to be her outer shell had deepened itself, spreading like a disease, and now she seemed too happy to be troubled at all. But looks could be deceiving, Shelby knew that.

Trying to talk with her was difficult. She always seemed to be doing something, but Shelby couldn't think of what that might be. There was nothing for her to even be doing…

But between school work and trying to get through to her family, Juliette was nowhere and everywhere all at once, and Shelby had no way of keeping up with it. So she didn't, and she let her run around for as long as she liked. Juliette would calm down, eventually anyway.

But, as fate would have it, instead of getting Juliette to talk, she had Auggie on her case.

"Hey, what's Twig so happy bout?" Shelby only sighed and turned with that bored look that she saved for people she didn't want to talk to. Too bad she used it too often on Auggie and it seemed to have lost its effect.

"Her 'mother's getting married'," she said, quoting in the most high pitched voice she could muster and widening her eyes a little to make it seem more sarcastic than she needed it too. It didn't scare him off, and maybe even made her feel a little guilty. That one would have actually hurt if Juliette had seen.

"So?" Shelby didn't exactly want to speak to the boy, no matter how much he seemed to want the information.

She only smirked a little more, trying to up the Shelby smoke screen. "It's number 5… the lucky one." She said, in a bored tone, trying to walk around him but he followed. "So she's all excited. That's all I know, now…" she gestured for him to leave. And leave he did, with a smile of thanks and a hard clap to her back, as if she could tolerate him the point of friendship.

Something told her that she knew exactly where he was going to share his new information, and she rolled her eyes. Did he really need to research the girl to talk to her?

* * *

"You sure she's not delusional?" Shelby asked, watching Juliette still jumping all over the cabin as if she was high on sugar, though she hadn't had any in forever.

Daisy only smiled. "No."

Shelby's lips quirked at the sides, but she needed to leave. She had kitchens that afternoon and she'd be late if she didn't go soon. So, she spent a few more minutes hanging around, putting it off for a spell before leaving into the wind for work, making sure to give Juliette a light shove and a smirk before she left, and mouthing at her to relax. It felt good to have her smile back.

But, just as if everything was against her she was paired with Scott for wash up, and Sophie took it upon herself to just rile her up more. She was a friend to Scott, and she didn't care that he had been abused in the way that it wouldn't make her avoid speaking to him.

But when every conversation had to feature at least one mention that abuse it began to wear on her nerves and had her grinding her teeth just to keep her tongue in check. Blowing him off for an evening seemed like a pretty good way out.

She had seen the question coming from miles away. "You doing anything tonight? Maybe we could get together and hang out. Talk maybe?" She knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, he had been doing it not ten seconds before. But her life was her own, and not for his eyes.

A quick homework excuse got her free a night, but Scott was determined, and she smiled. He was sweet when he wanted to be, and it make the butterflies in her stomach wake just enough to make her purse her lips. "Maybe tomorrow night?

"Yeah, I'd like that." She would be able to evade questions. She always had been good at that.

* * *

Auggie was quick to see through Juliette sudden downfall in spirit. Her cover up was terrible, too full of awkward smiles to be true. Her eyes glazed over sometimes, more often than usual, and that smile would fall and she wouldn't blink for a while. It was freaking him out a bit during their tutor sessions.

He asked one day, snapping her out of daydreams and she turned to him with the smile growing slowly, so that for a moment she was trapped between emptiness and delight and he blanched for a second at the sight. "What?"

"What's up with you, Twig?" he asked, throwing his pencil back down on his notepad and sitting back in his chair, looking down at her with a stubborn light that Juliette knew well, his hands resting on his upper legs. She was hunched over the work, glancing up only for a second before getting back to it. "Nothing, just tired…"

She knew he didn't believe her and only rolled her eyes silently to herself. "Look, I have homework to do." He could feel that angry side emerging and threw his hands up in surrender, shaking his head when her eyes narrowed and she went back to gliding words onto the page with beauty he could not imagine.

Confused, he let her away with her excuse, and fell back into work, only occasionally asking for help now, for fear of her glares.

* * *

Shelby noticed Juliette's attitude the moment they woke up and she watched Juliette mumble to herself, getting changed almost violently, turned to herself in a corner but Shelby could still hear it. She watched as Juliette calmed herself and stuck on that stupid fake smile all over again, ready for a new day, and she internally groaned.

It was harder to get through to her now. Apparently, she hadn't been invited after all to her mother's wedding, and things just seemed to take a nosedive from there, and now she was left with this angry mess of a person, who didn't know what she was feeling anymore.

Oh was that feeling familiar…

Juliette mood swings were terrible to keep up with, but she tried, and she asked her questions about anything she could think of, trying to keep her head down at the task in hand, but it only left her thrown when Juliette snapped or sometimes just ignored her.

She had even been more handsy the night before in bed, and Shelby had had to be the one to stop her. She had never had to stop her before.

Somehow, even that gave her a foreboding she couldn't ignore. Thank god she knew one particular enjoying way of getting through to her, no matter how short lived it could be…

Giving a quick glance for at Daisy for cover and Juliette with determined meaning, she left the building.

* * *

"Hey, any of you know where Shelby is?" Ezra started at the voice, dropping his fork and turned with an air that had Daisy rolling her eyes. He was a terrible actor.

Scott's eyes still slid down to the panicking boy in a bored manner, but Daisy knew he had reasons for urgency. He really did want to speak to Shelby. He couldn't, she was busy, but he didn't need to know where…

"Mmmm, Shelby? No, can't say I've seen her." Ezra spoke to fast, his eyes to wide, a fool would see through his lies in seconds. Scott was no fool, but luckily, had already turned away. He didn't want to waste time speaking with them, answers were enough. False as they were, he took them without question.

When Daisy raised her eyebrows at him, Ezra questioned her. All he got was an amused smile while her eyes moved back to her food, the wicked part of her wondering if Scott would even think to check the woodshed.

* * *

"So what was Skinny's wrap all about?" Shelby was being sarcastic to her advantage again, and loved every second of it. Juliette had been less than civil to her on the climbing wall, but she noticed her stop to talk to the boys, and saw the disgust cross Scott's features pretty well from her high vantage point. So she was curious…

But apparently, Scott was just as clueless as he saw Juliette to be, and proceeded only to tell her about his fine knowledge of the girl, and not what she wanted to know. Past the point of frustration, she pursed her lips.

Shelby knew it was fruitless and brushed the subject aside, knowing very well that she was inviting another proposal her way. With a quick glance back over at Juliette, who was tying herself up in the thick reddish ropes in a half assed attempt at winding them, she took a deep breath and tried to win back just one more night.

"Tonight's not good…" she said, after he asked, but he, as usual, was persistent and she agreed. Down by the docks, after last light, tomorrow night. She was already regretting saying yes.

Of course, who else would be watching but Daisy, standing there like a zombie, it was strange that Shelby hadn't noticed her. "Well, if it isn't the bride of Freakenstein," she said, but Daisy only smiled like she knew something Shelby didn't. She'd never say it, but it was intimidating to see.

"You're wearing a mask." Deadpan Daisy, what else would she have expected? With her philosophical words that could be insults or advice, Shelby didn't care which at this point.

"That's rich, coming from Goth Girl," she replied, distain already morphing her face, but Daisy didn't even blink. It seemed a lot of people were immune to her insults now, and to be honest it irked her a little. They were all getting much to close now for her liking.

"My mask was an honest one, for all the world to see…" Daisy was smiling as she spoke, but in a tight lipped way that made Shelby wonder how amused she actually was to be delivering these words. She looked down to avoid the critical eyes. Or maybe not critical. Maybe compassionate. Shelby would never know. "Yours is invisible."

"You are _so_…way creepy," Glad of her comeback, Shelby wanted to leave, but Daisy's next words stopped her again.

"You're hiding something, and its taking all your energy, using it up. There's less and less left." All traces of her smile were gone now, all that was left was her serious eyes. "Soon there will be none."

Shelby suddenly wondered if she knew, about her secrets, her shadows, or if it was all about Juliette. Did Daisy not want to be part of their plan anymore or something? Needless to say, Daisy would see those shadows very well, living in darkness as she did. She didn't ask.

* * *

There was something wrong and everyone knew it, yet no one acted upon their thoughts. Foolish moves, but there was nothing to do that would save it now.

It was Katherine who found the bloody shirt, possibly the worst person, in Juliette's eyes, to have been on laundry duties that day. She had forgotten about the blood stains, too dizzy and distressed to put the thought into hiding it or maybe even burying the shirt.

The damage was done though, and Kat stormed in with determination when Juliette was all alone in their dorm. Barely ten seconds of struggle resulted in a ripped shirt and a bared, bloody arm. It dawned on her quite quickly what would happen next. Kat would report her, and that would be it.

Cutting was serious at Horizon, but in the moment, that hadn't crossed her mind. She had wanted escape and that was the only way she could see. Now that her mind had caught up and the punishment was soon to be handed out, it made her feel sick. She couldn't breathe, or even try and run…

Of course she tried begging Kat not to tell Peter and that she wouldn't slip up again, and for a moment she thought she was getting through to her. But that moment was fleeting, and Katherine shook the thought from her head and tore her hand from Juliette's grasp to turn away from her with a brisk, stiff stance that sealed Juliette's fate.

It seemed like a brief eternity before Peter and Sophie arrived. Shelby and Daisy were there faster, appearing as Kat left, as if ready to watch her. Daisy, always careful in situations such as this, said nothing, and sat silently on the bed alongside Juliette's.

Shelby was not so polite, and sat right in front of her, to stare her with her face set in stoic nothing. Juliette didn't really care what she looked like. Shelby was doing that thing she did so well, hiding her anger and looking bored when she knew Juliette saw through it.

She knew Shelby would never forgive this…

The counsellors ransacking the entire room in search for that stupid blunt, dinner knife she had used. Thankfully, she had gotten rid of that much quicker than the shirt.

Peter could see her face harden at the mere sight of him, like a statue, prepared for the onslaught it was bound to receive. He hated that it was necessary, but he needed those answers from her, whether she wanted to co-operate or not. She needed medical attention. But she was angry, a wall fit to stand beside Shelby.

Thankfully, hers was one much easier to demolish. He could see the cracks already.

She had broken herself, and Juliette could hold herself together for a brief time, but not forever. Acting was not something one holds forever, no matter how good they happened to be.

So he watched her crumble under his eyes, watched her face slowly fall and her eyes glisten. He suddenly felt an onslaught of guilt. He had known this was coming, but had failed to act, and now he felt the pain of his actions reflected on the young girl's features.

Juliette's whimpers rang in his ears and, in his heart, he knew this was out of his hands now. He had no right to hide her or not inform her mother, as much as he wanted to. He would call her the next day and explain, but for now, Juliette didn't need to hear about that. She needed stitches and a watcher, according to school rules.

Listening to speak words he had heard so many times before started to chip away at his own walls, the protective ones he used to fight the kids' sadness away from himself. He could feel it happening the more she spoke and it knocked the wind out of him.

He was starting to fail them now. Little by little things were falling to pieces and it terrified him.

Now Peter was worried. He had backed himself into a corner on this one by his negligence, and thinking about it only made his heart race. A spit of anger ran through his veins. At Juliette, at himself, we wasn't sure. Juliette would be sent home straight away, should her mother ask. Right back into what created her issues. He had no choice but to risk it now.

* * *

They were all in there with her, sitting in silence, their judging eyes watching her back. She couldn't look at them anymore; they only made her feel worse.

Shelby had taken a very productive role in this, sitting where Juliette would see her easily, but not directly in front of her. Her peripherals gave away every move until Juliette had had enough and turned away from them, lying on her front.

The others didn't care that she wasn't talking. They only watched. She felt like an experiment. They weren't awake for her of course. Why would they be? They were awake for Ezra, waiting on his results that determined his return to them. Hanging around with her only seemed logical; she was taking up their common room.

She smiled when she heard the news. Ezra would be back soon. And now they all had to leave her alone, and that seemed like the most appealing thing in the world at that moment.

Shelby was up like a shot, wanting to leave as quick as was socially acceptable. Juliette felt her throat constrict at the sight. Shelby had asked her before not to do this again, and she had promised, but times changed and here they were. That still didn't numb the pain that guilt had been chasing her with for the whole year...

She didn't even look meet her eyes before she left.

But while Shelby left, she noticed Auggie hanging back, unsure of what to do. He had something to say. So, in a moment of weakness, she called him back. That horrible, abandoned feeling was creeping back, and she needed a friendly face now.

With shifting eyes, she voiced her wish. "Don't be mad at me for what I did." He didn't seem to be, and Juliette felt relief settle down on her once again.

"It's not for me to be mad about, Jules." Little more than a second later and she felt terrible again. But she hid it as well as she could, coming off as merely diffident. "I worry about you," her eyes shot up to look into his, but they were already on the ground, his rare, shy side shielding him from her. She knew exactly why. "I worry about you..."

"I know you do," her words were soft, coaxing him out of his shell again, his eyes darting back up to hers. He had questions that she had no answers to, none that he could hear anyway. So he didn't voice them, as if he sensed that he should not.

She smiled when he stood again, his hand brushing her face before he left her under Kat's supervision.

Faintly, she could hear Scott and Shelby hiding around the corner, planning, but it was pushed to the back of her mind. Shelby was none of her concern. She was out of their way and that was how it was supposed to be. Anyone could see that. It still took a lot to remind herself of that sometimes though.

* * *

Juliette couldn't sleep, curled up in front of the huge fire, all to herself. She felt Kat's eyes flicking to her every few seconds, as if she could have started cutting again with her invisible knife as soon as her friend's back was turned. Juliette was ready to scream at her, but it wasn't really her fault. This was all Juliette's fault, and she would stay silent for her punishment.

But sleep was an issue, and no matter how much she turned (getting Kat's unblinking attention each time), there was no comfort had for her any more.

She knew why. She had known from the moment Kat had run off to fetch Peter that her little home on the mountains was going to be swiped from her. She'd be thrown back into her old life, full of snickering girls talking behind her back, snarling like dogs, and boys who thought they were men, with giant arms that felt over her shoulders like weights.

To top it off, there would be her mother's eyes watching her again. Much cruel than Kat's gaze could ever be, with that sickening glint of distain that still kept Juliette awake at night sometimes. She could practically feel it now.

But she had sold herself into this and now, lying on the floor staring at nothing, she was beginning to wonder why she had even thought cutting would help. Stupid thoughts, she knew it already. It did help. She still felt better than she had before, with everything building up like that…

Truthfully, she was embarrassed now. Being paraded through the campus with Peter and Sophie at her sides, so close she felt claustrophobic, had all eyes falling on her fast. It made her feel sick to think about it. Adding on the fact that she had even fallen back to her old ways just made her even more worthless in her eyes.

Sophie interrupted her, right on schedule, according to that ever sarcastic voice in the back of her head that Juliette was sure she'd picked up from Shelby, like a freaking _disease_. Quickly, she switched it off, turning her full attention to the woman trying to comfort her, in her own, unqualified way.

Sophie was much more a mother than a counsellor, and it didn't make sense to Juliette how she could be so good at it, without making her feel like she was being scrutinised, with no experience. Telling Sophie anything didn't feel the same as telling Peter. It seemed more casual, as if she wasn't speaking to someone with such control over her life.

Juliette liked Sophie, she was good at what she did in her own way. That didn't mean she was right, or knew anything about the job she had overtaken. Juliette didn't know this, or even pass it through her mind for thought. Her plan was solid, and required nothing more than a few hours wait.

She had found her way to freedom, and it was clear as day. Sophie had just been there to spark something.

Her easy solution was right in front of her, waiting for her to just take it. Juliette lay in bed with eyes that wouldn't close, silently observing as Kat dosed off in her seat. Her mind whirled. This was her chance, a way out.

An escape from everything, and it was right in front of her, begging her to get up and just… leave. There was nothing to stop her anymore. Out there, there would be no threats, nothing she would be in the way of…

So, as soon as Kat's eyes slid shit, Juliette rose from her makeshift bed. At that moment, she was tired, and her mind had not yet fully pieced together her movements, but she still found herself outside her cabin moments later. Like she had appeared out of thin air in that spot.

Naturally, she thought to herself in a flurried motion, floating inside and closing the door softly behind her. She did need to bring some supplies with her…

The room was darker than she had expected, and the moved slowly for a moment to get used to it. But she knew her way to her own bed, and shuffled over as quietly as she could, blinking rapidly to chase away the last ruminates of sleep and light.

Her bed wasn't empty, but she didn't even think on it, instead quickly reached under it for a rucksack, packing it in a haze with items in her truck at the bottom of her bed. It was still dark, and she moved slowly, freezing each time she thought she heard the other girls waking.

Her robotic moments had the bag packed in minutes, and, then she was standing again, her eyes roving the room, eyes listening to every sound. They all seemed louder now.

Her eyes now suited to the dark, they turned on Shelby. Blonde hair turned silvery in the absence of light shimmered lightly, and that still slightly asleep part of Juliette wanted to reach out and touch it, but she reined herself in, walking deliberately to the edge of the bed anyway, where she was on her knees before her mind ordered it.

So there she was, listening to herself breathe in the silent room, watching Shelby like a creeper but she didn't care. She was leaving anyway, what was one last look?

That was how she ended up pressing a slow, feather light kiss to Shelby's temple, similar to one she would later replicate for Auggie in a moment of appreciation. But he would not receive the same last look from the doorway. That was Shelby's honour.

She was oblivious to the fact that both of these were in fact awake, their eyes faking sleep at the sound of her entry, fooling her easily. Both awake under stress, just like Juliette.

But only one of them gets up to follow her, hoping to stop her, knowing it wouldn't work. Why else would he dress before venturing out to her? Thankfully, she hadn't gotten too far, having loitered outside for a bit after visiting him, as if taking in the sights one last time, but he wasn't so sure of her. Juliette had been difficult to read from the start, but this new Juliette was something else.

Shelby did get up again, and dressed slowly, seeing nothing in her daze. She should have known Juliette would pull something like this. Maybe she had. It didn't matter now, there was no use going after her. She would have stopped by then if there was any doubt left. And, to be perfectly honest, Shelby wasn't in the mood for her.

So she found herself in the kitchens, there by ways of her zombie-like walk. It didn't faze her, she lowered herself to sit on the ground anyway, cross legged and leaning her head against the cupboard wall. Her eyes shut a little, blocking out the world in that rare space of time she had for such things.

It truly was rare, as Daisy slid around the corner before she had even drawn two breaths, fully dressed too. Daisy's face was chalk white and, for a second, Shelby didn't even recognise her. She even had to take a second look to make sure she was right. "You scared me," she said, softly as she could while keeping her voice hard.

"Sorry," Daisy didn't care. If she didn't want to show her face she wouldn't have, so she had some want of company.

"Where'd you get the make up?" Naturally, Shelby didn't really care, and once she asked she regretted it. Listening to Daisy rattle on wasn't at the top of her to do list. But she knew that Daisy only did it to annoy her, and allowed her to do it, rolling her eyes in response.

Letting her speak was good, it let her mind wander, just as she had wanted it too. Being in a dark room with (well without…) Daisy wasn't going to get her anywhere. And she had a lot of work to get through.

Listening to Daisy speak gave her the freedom to daydream, like music in a way. But daydreaming wasn't for her, and her mind was quick to move on.

She should have been at the docks by then, waiting for Scott, smiling a weak, short lived smile for him as he awkwardly tried to get around to what he wanted to hear. Her story, the one she could not tell, under any circumstances.

No one knew her story, not really. Not even Juliette, and she was still far above any others to reaching that distinction… she was never going to reach it if Shelby had her way.

She wasn't going to go to the docks. She knew that without thought, and could have laughed at herself for ever even contemplating it. But then, there was that other thing in her life, the one clearing itself up right at that moment. Yet she hated the thought of it being gone. That things name was Juliette Waybourne.

Her relapse frustrated her, but her running from it made her hurt in a familiar way that she preferred brushing to the side. She felt rather than heard Daisy end her life of cosmetics, and sighed as her thoughts began to return to the real world. Silence was good only for so long, before a mind starts to wander to nothing.

"What're you doing in here?" Shelby asked, turning to look at the sober looking girl who didn't look back at her.

"Hiding."

Shelby made a cutting sound, as if mocking her simple answer. "From what?"

"Life." There it was, that Daisy way of speaking that was so meek on first hearing, but in mere seconds, you felt different, as if there was something you had missed that, once noticing it, brought you back down to earth hard, knocking out all hopes along with you air. "What're you doing in here?

"Hiding." Shelby sighed out the word, tired now from thought.

"From what?"

"Life."

Daisy had turned away as they spoke, and Shelby felt a rush of gratitude she didn't let show on her face. Daisy knew how to let her speak. In the moment, she was compelled to continue. Daisy would never tell anyway. "Scott told me about his life…" she drawled, staring straight ahead in a kind of wistful way. "Now he wants to talk... about my life."

She couldn't talk… he should understand that by now.

Daisy didn't even seem to think before she responded, as if she had the words on tap but was too lazy to speak. "A reasonable desire from someone in a vulnerable condition," a contemplating tone set over her, but Shelby knew it was bullshit. She knew that Shelby wasn't ready for that, and when she voiced that very sentence, Shelby could do nothing but agree.

Daisy kept her back to the blonde, and smiled as a memory entered her mind. She had heard this all before from those same lips, and was in no mood for knowing that she would hear them again. She could even hear the laughter in her own voice as she started to speak again.

"So you try to be a friend, and you smile… and run the other way." Shelby tightened her lips into a sarcastic smile, teeth gritted slightly at the incisors.

"Yep…" Did she understand what Daisy meant? Probably not, but Daisy didn't care anymore. She was tired of Shelby (or occasionally Juliette) bitching to her, and if they didn't understand her that was for them to worry about. They still couldn't figure out their lives on their own, and she would have just pushed them along.

She hadn't gone to hide in the kitchen to talk to Shelby. She had gone to grieve Ezra's lost bliss, but, once interrupted, was it really so bad to grieve together? Grieving for two would soften the blow anyway.

"By the way," Daisy woke from her daze to finally turn to face her companion once more. "You look really stupid." If she had any emotion left, Daisy would have smiled at the jest, but she couldn't anymore.

So instead she replied in a deadpan Shelby had heard so often before, "Good. I look the way I feel." There was pauses that made Shelby's stomach churn more than it had in bed, and she wondered if trying to lighten the mood had done anything but add weight.

And then, Daisy turned away, back to her own thoughts, and Shelby was alone. In far more ways that she had company, that is, and with nothing more than excess thoughts.

Hiding in the kitchens had sounded so much better when her conscious wasn't there.

She knew Scott would be on the docks by then, curious, waiting for her to show. She wouldn't.

She knew that Juliette was leaving right at that very second, maybe even alone. She could stop her. Easily. She wouldn't.

Instead Shelby sat with her back to a cabinet full of pots and her shoulder brushing Daisy's, idly wondering how the girl could be so cold even though her sweater. She still shuffled closer to her, desperate for comfort that Daisy would never give in words. She understood that, she couldn't say a word to ease her pain either.


	6. Chapter 6

Freedom. It wasn't a word Juliette associated with herself very often, but today, it was the first thing on her mind.

Out of Horizon, everything seemed so open, yet the town she walked was anything but. Seeing people, _new people_, was almost throwing at first, and after finding out the hard way that they weren't as safe as the people at school, she might have even loved it more.

Complete freedom… Juliette had been quick to expelled memories, letting them drift as if she could live her new life forever.

Her mother didn't exist, Shelby wasn't making her head hurt, and everyone was right there, and they _wanted _her.

So what if it wasn't real? It was only during the night when she had to think. So what did it really matter?

* * *

Shelby didn't know what she was feeling anymore, because when she woke up in the morning, Juliette was gone again.

She didn't get up for a few hours after Daisy dropped the news on her, along with a small pile of clean laundry and the memo that she'd slept in. It wasn't a getting up kind of day. It was a 'silently fume in bed until someone gives you something else to think about' kind of day.

It was going to be bad with or without Juliette around and she knew it. Scott was out to find her, and she knew that already, and today was the day she would have found out if Juliette was leaving for good.

Shelby had known she was doing it too, but it had been a vague thought more than a worry. She suspected a day on the run, and they would find her a mile away. She was wrong.

Juliette had taken Auggie with her, and that's what cemented it as reality in Shelby's mind. Auggie, as irritating as she found him, knew his way around the woods, as well as the city. He listened to Peter while Juliette daydreamed.

So now she was lying in bed, with Daisy staring down at her, trying to comfort her, and failing miserably. At least she was trying. Shelby was glad that the teachers were all too busy worrying to bat their eyes at her supposed laziness.

Eventually though, Daisy got sick of her. "Ezra's still in bed too, you know?" she said, meaning clear as day and Shelby closed her eyes. Sadly, she could still Daisy's scoff of disappointment. "Okay, yeah, whatever." Daisy spat down at her limp figure, and Shelby listened to the footsteps pounding the floor, each one making her feel a little bit worse.

* * *

Auggie didn't really get it.

Sure, he listened to her wants and her dreams for true freedom, to explore and forget, but his mind was still in Horizon. That's all Juliette knew. Horizon was not independence. It was a crutch that she didn't want anymore. It came with too many conditions that she didn't want anyway…

She couldn't go back now. No matter what Auggie thought he knew, _this_ was much better for her.

* * *

Stupid, mindless talk. That's all that Shelby had heard, all day, and it was driving her insane.

Kat had quickly launched into insults, blaming a supposed mean streak that she herself knew Juliette wouldn't sink too as her reason for running. Risking expulsion just to mess with Kate? Yeah right.

Scott had been just as eager to share his extensive knowledge of Juliette on them all, and Shelby would have laughed out loud if not for her audience. But it didn't matter, Scott had it cemented in his mind that he knew her well. He did that with a lot of people lately. He wanted to blame Auggie of course… still holding that grudge…

_You think you know her, that's a laugh. You don't know any of it..._

Being already annoyed and tired, Shelby wasn't in the mood to listen to them bitching. No matter how much she would have loved to join in on the bashing, she really wasn't in the mood anymore. Her anger stage had waned too much for that.

"Parents haven't got a clue how they affect us," Shelby was murmuring the words before she could rein herself in, but not an eye was blinked at the words.

"-You know Jules, she thinks she's built like the rest of us." Shelby rolled her eyes, suppressing a groan at Scott's ignorance, but said nothing, listening silently. In all honesty, she was curious about what he was thinking. "She tries to play the part." No, there it was.

"She better stay gone, cuz as soon as she gets back, I'm gonna kill her." Kat's growling words were the breaking point, and Shelby had to leave. She stood, her expression bored and quite, but she was noticed this time. A plain movement was barely ever unnoticed.

"Shelby?" She turned at her name, looking to Scott, who stared back. "Where you going?"

Things had been a little weird all day, but she didn't care for his puppy dog eyes. They weren't going to make her stay and listen to this anymore. She had better things to do.

"To the kitchen," she smiled back, sarcastic but she wondered idly if they even noticed it anymore. "All this talk about the little Princess has made me hungry." A lie, of course. Food was the very last thing on her mind.

She turned away from them, ignoring the five second silence she left I her wake. But the quick return to the norm was a lot harder to misinterpret.

* * *

Okay, so maybe bringing Auggie had been a bad idea.

Juliette had never felt more beat down for any decision she had ever made, and that was saying quite a lot. Auggie snapped at her every word, silencing her while her thought of solutions they didn't need. It was starting to scare her away from speaking to him.

But then, in those moments where she regretted him, he would shine through once again, calming her after nightmares, and finding food, no matter how hard he had to work. Juliette would never have thought of stealing from bins, never mind going out behind bakeries for the throwaways…

For every bad moment, there was one to balance it, and eventually, Auggie's guard was down, and they actually began to talk together. He wasn't such a bad guy, really, and he seemed to genuinely care, but when he asked why she really needed to run, she could only purse her lips in worry.

She had no explanations for this one. At least none he would ever dream of being true.

But his eyes begged for answers, and she gave them vaguely to him, after a pointedly pleading look that broke her. "I needed to leave, Auggie," she said, a bordering desperate tone to her voice. "I have reasons… but I can't..."

He took it without another word, and they went back to messing around, Auggie even loosening up enough to shove her around a little, off the footpath and onto the road, just to hear her screaming laughter.

* * *

Juliette finds out quickly that Auggie's anger often spiked early in the morning and late at night. She starts trying to avoid him then.

Those war cries Peter would sometimes lead would have been bliss at that moment. Screaming out her anguish sounded like paradise.

But then he was an angel, making sure she was dry and ate enough to keep going. It felt good to haves someone care so much. What was a healthy balance anymore?

* * *

Shelby's genius plan failed her when Scott came looking. She should have known that he would never let her go unquestioned about not coming to the docks to meet him, but what was life without a little glimmer of hope?

So she spouted some terrible excuses and hoped they didn't seem farfetched. Using Ezra as an excuse for not meeting with him. She hated the lies that had become almost routine, but it was necessary now. She knew Scott would never take them and leave, so her shield flared up, and her face was blanked.

"You sure that's it?" He asked her retreating form and she spun to face him, hoping he would be satisfied by a little eye contact and a half assed smile. Her heart beat fast, but she wasn't sure why. She had nothing to hide. Nothing he could ever figure out anyway…

"Yes. Why?" She was curious now. Her nerves had spiked and left her feeling strangely wary of his advance. It meant nothing, and she knew that well, but she still felt oddly threatened, as if her secret was on its way to being uncovered. God, Juliette would kill her if she came back to that…

Scott looked down at her, careful in his words. "Cuz, I'd like to think that you'd tell me, if it wasn't." Shelby couldn't help but suck in a quick breath as he brushed past her, leaving without giving her the chance to respond. She had nothing to say.

Kat had been watching from the side lines, moving in the moment Scott had left to lecture her about how much he cared. How he was oh so perfect for her and needed her so much. Shelby couldn't help but feel guilty. She really just spent her time missing Juliette rather than spending it with Scott.

Oh if Katherine knew the truth…

* * *

Auggie knew she didn't want him. Not really. Not in the way he wanted her anyway. And it was strange to have her there, right beside him, kissing him even, but knowing she felt nothing at all.

Juliette wasn't the same person as she was at Horizon. This was the 'new' Juliette though, he shouldn't have expected any different. He still preferred her old self sometimes. If he was on the run with her old self, he might not have been showing off his scars to scare her back to silence.

Bandaging her arm up had made her stoic again. She didn't really want to talk about anything but he knew he could coax something out of her if he tried hard enough. But for the moment, she was too busy digging herself into a pit of self-hatred and wallowing there for a while. Her safe place.

No matter how much her tried to tell her to stop, she was so focused on teaching him that she couldn't. He didn't understand, she was right about that. He didn't see how making yourself bleed could stop any pain you felt inside. He didn't understand.

He didn't want too.

And now they walked side by side down the paths, both in silence and drowning in thought. Auggie didn't feel right anymore, and no matter how long they walked the feeling only got worse. She wasn't even looking at him now.

"I'm sorry, Auggie." He blinked at her voice, like it shocked him, and turned to her, but she was looking at the ground with furrowed eyebrows and parted lips. He said nothing in reply.

In his quite response, Juliette smiled and brushed his shoulder with her own and smiled, trying to get him to relax back down to her level again. "You a good friend," she added, her voice back to its happy tone again and he had to smile back, as infectious as she was. "A great friend."

The supermarket was just around the corner now.

* * *

Scott found Shelby sitting along in the dining area and fell into the chair beside her, planting his tray firmly and watching her start at the sound. Today she was sitting apart from the rest of the group and it concerned him a little. If she was anything like him, this was a bad sign.

He smiled an apology for the noise and she tilted her head in greeting while he started to dig in. Shelby just pushed her food around with her fork. "Where were you?" Scott said, swallowing his stew. "Just now?"

Assuming she meant her daydreaming, Shelby shrugged and leaned into her hand. "Nowhere…" she brushed him off and let him eat in silence, hoping she'd catch a lucky break and he wouldn't bring up the giant elephant in the room. It was a waiting game she knew she would lose.

Scott was easy to eat with, because if he had nothing to say, he wouldn't speak at all, and Shelby had to admit it was pleasant sometimes. But when he had anything lurking that caught his attention long enough, he wouldn't give in until she spoke with him about it, no matter what it was, how simple or complex. And that was his major fault that day.

Eventually, he would voice his thoughts, and ask why she would be sitting so far from the others. Tell her that there must be something on her mind that would make her act this way. He would be right in his assumptions, of course, but that didn't mean she wanted to speak to him about it. So he really shouldn't have been so surprised when she only rolled her eyes and shrugged.

It wasn't an answer though, and Shelby knew better than to think he would accept it as one. So when she opened his mouth to ask more questions she quickly interrupted his plans. "I'm just not feeling so good, okay?"

Unable to sit around and revel in hurt with him, Shelby got up and dumped her leftovers. Why did she even bother going to eat again?

Scott didn't try to stop her, though he didn't believe her. He had all the time in the world to speak with her. And if there was something wrong, she would come to him about it… right? Probably not actually, when he thought about it... But what if she was upset about something serious? He could never tell when she got like this if it was just a bad day or an underlying tear in her being. It wasn't often he got it right.

And with that thought it was settled for him. Scott wanted to know more, and as his curiosity grew, Shelby escaped further away, very unaware of his thoughts.

* * *

And just like that he was gone, and Juliette was alone.

There was no one to talk to now, and suddenly the rucksack on her back seemed heavier. Her legs moved but she was going nowhere in particular, she didn't know where to go. Panic was settling in, she could feel its tongue licking cold on her insides and it shook out tears she hadn't noticed were brimming.

Were there always so many payphones in town?

Her head hurt and she sank to the ground to lean against a wall, trying to ignore the looks of disgust on the faces of passers-by. She hated herself to much at that moment for them to affect her. Auggie was gone… she had gotten Auggie _arrested_… her breathing matched her heart, beat for beat. This wasn't something she could disregard.

This could ruin his life… She was no too proud to cry on the street. The people walking had already labelled her as they pleased, and crying was good. That's what Peter always said. And when she was done, she could pick herself back up again, and move on.

As she walked, she picked small change from the ground, until she had wandered each street and found herself back at the forest, walking in almost before she stopped herself. She should go back to town, ring Peter.

She was smart enough to know that things had gone too far now. She couldn't stay out here alone anymore, not without help and company. And just like that, the real world was back, pushing her back towards everything that scared her.

She could go back and risk her mother, or stay out and risk anything the world wanted her to suffer. What appealed to her more? Nothing made her feel as sick as her choices.

She fled deeper into the trees, ignoring the cold droplets of water sliding down her hair. It was all there now, everything she had tried to ignore, all collapsing down on her.

Auggie was in love with her and she knew it. And she treated him terribly for just that very reason. She _couldn't_ love him. Why? Was there even an answer? Not that she knew anyway. Now she's risking his jail time for her own stupid reasons, just because she needed time to think. He had treated her better than most people ever had… right?

She wanted Shelby. To hold her like she had held her, deep in the woods where no one could see. It struck her as strange for a moment, how she could yearn so much for a person she could despise so easily, on command even. It was stranger still how having those feelings hidden away had become so normal, even in her idle thoughts.

She would leave the safety of the woods later, and beg for a little more change before calling Horizon for help.

* * *

Peter hung up the phone almost violently. Sophie had heard from Juliette, sniffling through a payphone. He needed to go and get her.

He had gone back to Horizon for the night, and listened to Sophie's rants of anger. She wasn't pleased to be left alone without any news, but she knew the kids needed her, especially the way they had been cut down lately.

Peter had stayed with her for most of the evening, but did a quick of the students on his way back home, glancing quickly into each cabin to make sure everything was in order while he was missing, and it seemed that Sophie had proved herself perfect for the tasks he had entrusted her with.

He got into the truck, passenger side, and let his mind wander. He had spotted something though. Nothing bad, or anything that worried him. But Shelby was in Juliette's bed. Sound asleep like she belonged there.

It had caught me for a moment, and even when he was halfway home, the question of was still in the back of his mind. _Why?_

He said nothing to Juliette, and would say nothing to Shelby. But now he knew there was something. They were lying to themselves and everyone around them and it worried him. It was bad for them to do something so damaging as to hide themselves.

It was time for him to talk with them.

* * *

They had found her, and Shelby felt relief steal the weight from her shoulders and smiled despite herself when she overheard Sophie's phone call to Peter. It wasn't as if she was standing on the other side of the door wondering if going in and demanding answers would be too much though… that's not why she was there or anything…

She left as soon as she heard Sophie's happy sighs, hurrying out and thanking God that she didn't actually have to go in and ask. That would have done insane amounts of damage to their arrangement. But when she found herself outside she realised she had no one to go and tell about this. Her first instinct had been to go and tell Juliette…

Daisy was in the lunchroom, working on homework with Scott and Ezra last time she'd seen her, and she wouldn't be able to be excited around all three of them.

She still headed over, grabbing some homework as she went to make it look like she hadn't just shown up to give some coded messages to Daisy.

She ignored Scott's weird comments (and even stranger looks) and let herself speak for as long as she liked, for Scott was in ignorant bliss, and Daisy would read her like a book. Yesterday's worries were long forgotten and in their stead came her appetite.

* * *

Juliette paced her room. Well, not her room. The bathroom, and not even her bathroom. She was in a stupid cheap motel taking a _pregnancy test_ of all things, while Sophie waited outside.

She was angry now, and Sophie trying to calm her down did nothing but make it flare up more. She already knew she had gotten Auggie into serious trouble with the police, and that he might not get out, and that everyone at school knew she was doing exactly this right now…

She groaned and shook the stupid little stick, waiting for it to give its plainly obvious answer so she could move on from this. And to think, she had been talking to Sophie a few days ago about how embarrassing her life was. Funny.

No, it really wasn't, and when she stormed out of the bathroom to tell Sophie that no, she wasn't pregnant, she had to have it all told her again, in that stupid counsellor way that she was beginning to resent. Being unable to see through it was so much better than this. Being someone who thought everyone older knew best was the most ignorant stage of happiness she had ever gone through.

But she didn't need Sophie making her feel worse. She knew what she had done and there was no way of backing out of it now. She still played it up a little, making Auggie seem like the most perfect person in the world, but she wasn't really lying.

Well, she was kind of lying. But only barely. Auggie was an amazing guy, and he cared about her more than he should. It wasn't his fault she couldn't return those feelings. That was just another thing she had done to make everyone miserable…

Sophie didn't want to let her rant, or let out anything she felt, she contradicted her and it didn't help like the older woman believed it did. Sitting there was insanely boring, and having Sophie there only made it worse, more awkward. She didn't want to be there.

It didn't take long for her to want to help though. That little thing in the back of her mind that always wanted to save the day started flashing red and she begged Sophie to take her to the police station, as if she could help by just being there, waiting for them to let him out. Because they would let him out, she knew it.

Sophie was easy to break. And Juliette had been right, she needed to be there.

* * *

Work was good. Tiring, but it felt good to have to deal with consequences. First time that thought had ever crossed her mind…

Juliette's back ached with bending over, and her arms were much worse, but she was still smiling, happy. Horizon was never something she would have thought she would be delighted to see. But it was home now, and she knew it.

She had spent the last night in the main room again, beside the fire, this time under Sophie's, and sometimes Peter's, watch. It was nice though, even sleeping on the floor, and feeling particularly awkward trying to sleep, she knew that things had worked out in the best possible way.

So now she was on the floor, where she had been since before the others would even be getting up, scrubbing non-existent dirt from the shiny wood. Peter thought it would give her "time to think" about what she had done, but she wasn't using that time. She'd thought about it enough.

When Scott wandered down to her (the first of the Cliffhangers to spot her), at first, she didn't know how to respond to him. He was sweet, maybe too sweet, and it made her feel even better, eased her aching body a little to take a break and talk to someone.

"I heard Auggie got released," he was friendly, but there was something else in his tone, that kind of hostile part that Juliette ignored when she could.

"Yeah, he's coming back today." She worked a little as she spoke, little breaks were better than taking longer ones. She'd learned that the hard way.

But Scott wasn't done with her. "He, ah, he didn't hurt you or anything, did he?" Juliette bit back a groan at the sentence she was already sick of hearing, her head snapping back up to give him a mock glare.

"No, we didn't sleep together."

"I didn't ask that."

"Yes, you were. Not that it's any of your business anymore…" she gave up on trying to work. It seemed that every time she put her head down, she would have to glare up at him again. "It was much better than that."

Shelby watched from above, wondering what she had missed. Juliette was back? And talking to Scott? She sat on the top of the stairs, letting the scene play out. It wasn't as if she could say anything with Scott there anyway.

It didn't last long. She barely gave them time to have their little apology session before she was up and rushing down to them, her delight buried deep. She would have time later to be happy. "Hey, Princess," she drawled, "Finally realise you weren't cut out to be a homegirl?"

Juliette only stared up on her, blank, maybe even a little sarcastic but this was Juliette so then again no. She understood Shelby's '_there's other people around to we can't really talk'_ talk better than even Daisy, and smirked at her blatant statement.

"Hm, what's the matter, Shelby?" Juliette's spat the words out, but her voice was so calm that it made Shelby almost smile. "Jealous?" Yeah, she still loved fighting with Juliette like this, and when she broke her own rules it only made it better. This was way too close to the borders she usually set for fighting, too obvious but Scott would never in a million years notice. And Juliette was just a little bit right after all…

"Please. Of what?" A challenge, and Juliette was quick to rise to it. If she was going down the jealousy route, Shelby should have known she could keep going. It was the best way to get rid of anything harsh building up inside.

"That I actually had the guts to run," Juliette raised her eyebrows at her, "And you've barely been twenty feet away." Scott stood forgotten beside them for a moment, watching their back and forth in silence.

But Shelby didn't want to keep fighting; she wanted Scott to go away so it could all actually get back to normal. Or at least, so she could venture out into unclear waters and hope to bring back normality. "Yeah, whatever." She used the words as an excuse to brush past, and Juliette's eyes watched her leave until she was gone.

Scott followed straight away and Juliette smiled, pulling the brush back along the floor, wondering if she'd already cleaned that spot. She had moved out of their way though… Shelby was none of her concerns and she shouldn't think about it.

She scratched the brush harshly along the ground, gritting her teeth in a snarl. It was for the best of course, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

Meanwhile, Shelby was holding Scott's hand, letting it brush against her skin, taking comfort in his words, and feeling guilty inside. She still just wanted to go talk to Juliette. Did that make her a horrible person? Maybe, but it was worse than internally, she was still laughing. Scott thought she was mean to Juliette… she looked into his eyes to try and calm herself.

But what had he had to say to her. To let down her walls. She couldn't do that. Wouldn't actually, but that wasn't important. She couldn't do what he was telling her would help so much, and it irritated her that he believed that problems could be so easily brushed away. Why was he so sure Juliette needed protection but she could live without it?

_I need too…_

_Then stop acting like you don't_!

Shelby sighed as he slipped past her, leaving her alone again now that his point was across. But what point was he even trying to make, you may ask, and Shelby knew very well what that was. He wanted more of her story, her background that he knew she couldn't give, and it made her blood run cold and burn like lava simultaneously.

But it did give her something else. Some food for thought that perhaps he hadn't meant to give.

Juliette. In the silence that Scott had left, Shelby could hear her humming as she worked, the hard bristled brush scratching the floor and the splashes of water that escaped the bucket even time she wetted it. Scott had thought her something in his rants, but it certainly wasn't that he deserved her answers.

She was finally found Juliette alone hours later. The sun was almost set, and she knew she should have been heading back to the dorms to avoid curfew, but something held her there.

Juliette was still scrubbing the floors, rolling her shoulders every now and then when they ached a little too much. And Shelby leaned against the wall to watch, knowing very well Juliette was aware of her presence, she just wasn't going to speak yet. So Shelby sighed as dramatically as she could, trying to at least break that bored look the other girl had adopted, and smirked when she managed it.

A smile signalled her go ahead and Shelby pushed off the wall, instead falling into one of the armchairs, careful to avoid too much of the freshly cleaned floors. Juliette didn't look up, but her arms flexed as she put more effort into the work, distracting herself.

Shelby smiled at the familiarity. She would not be able to count the amount of times she had seen Juliette doing that, trying to distract herself when she got to happy. Only when it Shelby to have given that content to her though…

It took some time for her to speak, and when she did she was watching the embers of dying fire instead. Gave her less of an audience should the brunette glance up. "I really missed you," Shelby murmured the words but she sensed Juliette react to the words and still didn't look. She was glad of the fire then, warming her when she got scared and cold.

"I know." Juliette always whispered when she was unsure of what she was doing, but Shelby had been waiting for it, and heard with crystal clarity. Juliette still wasn't looking at her, but she had stopped trying to distract herself now, as if waiting for Shelby's reaction.

What was one tiny moment of weakness when you had moved aside anyway?

But Shelby wasn't aware of this, and she was only glad of Juliette's melting barriers. But Juliette still refused to look at her, instead tracing the wood lines along the floor, taking off her gloves and tossing them aside. It was late anyway, she shouldn't have even been there still… but she was.

And so was Shelby.

The girl on her mind materialised beside her, and Juliette jumped at the hand running along her back, straightening it and soothing some pain there. Still, her eyes remained in place.

Shelby was having none of it. She didn't understand Juliette anymore, and it tugged her lips into a sullen expression she had come to notice to often in herself. "Jules?" She was whispering now, but she didn't know why. She watched her companion's tongue brush her lips and her throat constrict in a swallow, but kneeled to her level anyway.

She knew Juliette would never look if she could hold out on it, and so, almost in control of itself, her hand wandered to her jaw, grazing from her shoulder on, and Juliette shrugged, hoping to knock her away, failing when she found Shelby to be persistent.

Irritation sprang from the depths and Juliette turned with teeth bared to snarl out something she'd regret, but had to pause in wonder. Shelby's eyes weren't spiteful, or even serious. They were sad.

"Why'd you run?" Shelby spoke almost too quietly, Juliette was taken aback, and though her lips parted to answer, nothing came out. She had nothing to say besides the truth, and Shelby wouldn't like to hear that. She knew her well enough to know she would be angry, but it was what was best…

Repeating herself, Shelby sighed at the silence. Third time asking and she saw Juliette's eyes weaken, and knew she was close to her answers now. Because she knew Juliette wasn't ready to run, not without some reason. Embarrassment wasn't it. Fear? Maybe, probably, but Shelby wanted to be sure. One thing she liked to know about Juliette was her triggers.

"I…" Juliette stuttered a little over her words and Shelby's eyebrows rose, trying to urge her on, and for once, she did. "I was…" Juliette was looking at her, almost through her, with those half-awake eyes that used to freak Shelby out a little, but didn't faze her at all now. "I was moving out of your way..."

That was it, a plain whisper and Shelby's eyes narrowed. Jules came back down to earth in an instant, looking appalled at her own words and shifted under Shelby's hand, uncomfortable. Shelby's hand seemed to weight more and it stroked back and forth, like she was as entranced by her mind as Juliette was, unaware she was even moving.

Shelby was lost in thought. Something that happened to often now…

She knew Shelby had feelings for Scott… real feelings, and the blonde could have slapped herself. "You heard that, huh?" Juliette nodded, once again lowering her gaze, as if it didn't bother her.

Shelby felt her insides drop but couldn't face that, and instead took the second route her mind had laid out for her to take. Frustrated with the feeling weighing her down, and desperate to make Juliette happy again, Shelby pulled her back up to face her and, after a beat to let Juliette pull back if she so wished, kissed her.

Like she had been ready, Juliette pushed up into her, straining her neck and wrapping her arms around Shelby's neck, letting the other girl's hands fall from her face to glide down her sides, hitching her breath at the feeling she'd missed more than she cared to admit.

Shelby smiled at the sounds, clinging fiercely to Juliette, moving so that she was closer. Now in front of Juliette, she deepened their kiss, letting instinct take over. She didn't want to think about everything that had happened, and how it had ruined everything. This was now, and she was happy here.

Juliette moaned, her fingernails digging into the back of Shelby's neck. Blanking her thoughts was good, she needed it. She needed Shelby, though she would never dare to let herself think it later on, but now, while her body pumped adrenaline, she could allow herself any freedom she desired. So she gave into it.

They didn't have time on their side, and Peter would be looking for them soon, and Shelby was the one to break them apart. She did not speak right away, and barely backed away an inch, sharing air.

"I care about Scott," finally she whispered and Juliette's confidence was dashed again. "But I care about you too, differently. I don't even get it now. But I don't want to give you up for him…"

Juliette's wide eyes were curious, questioning Shelby. They darted across her face, searching for answers but not asking any question, but Shelby understood her. _Are you sure? _

She kissed her for her answer, muttering words to relax her into believing it. Juliette always had had a hard head when it came to this, but Shelby was determined to make sure she knew that she would never, ever, need to get out of the way.

Half an hour later found them still there, the sun long set and the room plunged into almost darkness, with only one single lamp keeping the room bright. Their positions had changed, but they hadn't. They hadn't as much as thought about their curfew, or spoke another word, but yet didn't need to. They hadn't needed to for a long while.

It was Juliette who broke their silence, just a little out of breath and shivering. "Shel…" she murmured, letting the blonde's lips on her throat distract her. "I have to tell you something…"

Shelby hummed to go ahead, her teeth brushing their way down to her collarbone. Juliette swallowed at the feeling. "Auggie… I think he might be in love with me." She was quiet, but was sure Shelby heard; she had missed a beat.

But Shelby recovered fast, and leaned back to meet dark, worried eyes. "That doesn't matter… remember, I have Scott. You have Auggie." She smiled and tried to fix her own hair, before seconds later giving up and settling for fixing Juliette's. "Just like you wanted, right?"

Juliette's breath hitched but Shelby pretended not to notice, confident in her wording and steadily running her hands through brown hair, trying to tame it. She felt Juliette relax a little under the touch, and offered a half smirk of peace. She had said her part, and Juliette understood it.

That was all the talking they did for the night.


End file.
